Touched By an Alien: Life as I Know It

Dealing with the Dragons: Parents vrs. Schools

2011-12-26T08:12:00.001-07:00

Recently, I have had the privilege of talking to many parents of children either on the autism spectrum or with similar disabilities. One of the common themes that is coming up in conversation is lack of agreement of service plans between parents and schools. For instance, a school may not provide what a parent believes to be a necessary service for their child, or they may suggest services or interpretations of a child’s behaviour that are perceived by the parents to be ridiculous.

My family also struggled with the issue with me either being seen as a smart child who was misbehaving and not in need of any services, or schools suggesting unnecessary services, underestimating my abilities, and failing to recognize my strengths. As someone who has some experience volunteering in classrooms, staff are often overworked, have children with a vast arrange of abilities in one class (some without diagnoses), and it is difficult for them to meet the needs of every child.
One of the biggest things that helped for my family was getting professionals to advocate on their behalf. For instance, a family could ask for a referral to a psychologist or a psychiatrist and the expert could often after evaluating the child, write a letter requesting appropriate services on the parents’ behalf.

Sometimes, if a child is having an extremely difficult time in school, is in senior high, and in a major centre, there are complete homeschooling packages that allow a teen to receive the curriculum outside of the classroom for an indefinite amount of time.

Most importantly, parents cannot always change what is going on at school. The next best thing is to make your home a safe haven where your child can be themselves, and always be open to listening to your child. That can often be enough to get them through some very difficult years. It’s why I made it.

Assistive Technology: When is Enough Enough?

2011-11-29T00:36:00.001-07:00

Due to coordination and symbol recognition difficulties, I learned to “draw” the letters for cursive writing. However, I was concentrating so much on the drawing, even after a few years that it was taking away from the content of my work. In grade six, they finally allowed me to return to printing. By high school, handwriting assignments was beginning to affect content of my work because although I have functional printing skills, drawing letters takes concentration away from the academic task. The assignments were too long and complex for me to be concentrating on printing and writing a good response or taking detailed notes in class. Copying from the board confounded the issue further.

Thankfully, I had been using a computer efficiently since grade school so It was easy to transition me to using the computer for written assignments. My parents and teachers had me use my handwriting and printing long enough to develop functional skills. I can write my signature in cursive and I can print short assignments in an emergency. However, with the technology available, it did not make sense for me to continue to write by hand at the expense of my academics.

For those of you with disabilities or parents of children with disabilities, at what point, if ever, did you decide assistive technology was best for your child?

My Home Within my Home

2011-11-20T01:55:00.001-07:00

A few months ago, my family and I have started the process of moving me into my own “apartment.” My parents and I pooled our money to pay a carpenter friend to remodel the basement as an apartment. It already had its own complete kitchen so it was the perfect setup.

I moved in about a week and a half ago. Since then, I’ve been doing my own laundry, practicing organizing and cleaning a residence, and developing some cooking skills in my small kitchen. It allows me to have my own space, while still having my family close by for support. Living in the apartment will also give me the necessary skills to live on my own if I am required to go away for a PhD. Program or to work. I want to remain close to my family, but be self-sufficient.

Is Away Ever Better?

2011-11-20T01:47:00.001-07:00

I was reading an interesting website about a specialized boarding school in the United States for girls with Non-Verbal Learning disability and/or Asperger’s Syndrome. It has teachers who are specially trained in dealing with the unique learning styles of these individuals, a 2:1 student-teacher ratio, therapists to work with the children on communication and social skills, and a chance for these girls to be with peers who they can relate to. However, I wonder if being away from their family and community for years as a child and being in an isolated “special needs” community will have some negative implications for these girls as well. Readers, what is your opinion and/or experiences of residential schooling for students with special needs? I know it is commonly done with students who are blind or deaf.

No Place for Hate

2011-11-20T01:45:00.000-07:00

I have never understood discrimination or hatred. Last week, I was surfing the internet for an update on a news story about a beautiful 8-year-old with a severe facial deformity. Instead of finding the story I wanted, googling this child’s name turned up several sites that used disgusting language to describe this little girl’s appearance, stating that she’d be better of dead, a drain on resources etc. This is a little girl who dances, plays with her siblings, goes on vacation, reads, and does many of the things that girls her age do. She has some medical limitations, but her family’s website described her as a happy child who enjoys life.

I believe that young children who grow up believing that is acceptable to bully their peers for differences in the playground will grow up to be adult bullies if left unchecked. As someone who was bullied excessively from grade six to grade 12 and who still struggles with anxieties as a result of certain things that were said to me, I believe something needs to be done about this.

That something is not promoting eugenics or hiding away individuals with disabilities because they appear “undesirable” to others, but dealing with the people who are the real problem—the bullies. Disabilities and medical conditions are already challenging enough for children and adults to deal with, they don’t need the additional challenge of dealing with bullies. Sometimes, and I believe this is often the case, the damage done by the bullies can be worse than the effect of the original disability.

Let the child with Asperger’s Syndrome be greeted with “hello” as they skip around the edge of the playground in an uncoordinated manner. Let the little girl with a different face be invited to come join the neighborhood game rather than being pointed and laughed at. Let the little boy on the playground sing and hold hands with the toddler in a wheelchair rather than pointing and laughing at her. Let there be one day when different abilities are accepted as readily as differences in culture in a multicultural city.

The True Meaning of Dual Exceptionality

2011-10-24T01:27:00.002-06:00

Individuals with AS and above average intelligence are sometimes in an awkward situation in society I’m a 26-year-old graduate student in educational psychology with a paper published in an academic journal. I also can’t drive, can’t recognize my bus stop in the dark, struggle to recognize faces, group conversations are very difficult for me, the list goes on.

Sometimes when people first meet me they notice my motor clumsiness or social awkwardness and assume me to be developmentally younger than my age in all areas. In school or work situations people are sometimes unsure how to handle my awkward attempts at social chit chat. Yet, I could talk about one of the latest theories for working with children with autism and implement it successfully with a child.

Sometimes people don’t even notice they are treating me different than their peers. Or sometimes they are friendly with me, but stare wondering why I do things a certain way.

It’s frustrating to have to ask for a seat on the bus because I can’t balance on the poles, to have to ask for help tying a child’s shoe on a job working with children, to ask for directions to an obvious place, but over the years I have learned to ask for help with these things, even if it is awkward.

This year, for one of the first times, I have classmates coming to me for help. There is a research methods course in our graduate program and my undergraduate experiences gave me more research opportunities than most of them. Still, the same classmates that ask me for help may be the ones helping me find a place on campus.

Insider Insight

2011-09-15T12:56:00.000-06:00

I am greatly enjoying being a Master’s student in special education. This year is course work, and next year, I will be doing my thesis. The other day, before I was due to attend my class on severely disruptive behaviors, my mother and I had a discussion. When I was younger, I used to say inappropriate things or poke people in order to obtain “feedback.” It didn’t matter if it was positive feedback or not. If people got upset with me, I would always be baffled and say things like “why are you upset?” or “You’re so sensitive!” I didn’t understand how small behaviors could make somebody angry and my brain could just not put myself in their shoes. It wasn’t until I was about 20 that I figured this out. Maybe it was because I reacted differently to that kind of treatment. If my peers did those kinds of things to me, I would laugh inappropriately or get over-stimulated by it. When I was younger, my parents often thought that I was deliberately trying to annoy people because I’d say “I wanted to see what your reaction was” as if it was an experiment. However, I was always baffled by the results of the “experiment” every time which is probably why I repeated it.

On the other hand, if someone was experiencing an emotion I understood, such as feeling sad over a loss, I would be right there. I remember when I was a little girl and my grandmother gave my brother and I some pretty beach rocks as “presents” at a picnic. My brother lost one of his rocks in the field. Right away, I offered to give him one of my rocks. I knew what to do in that situation.

In my work experience, I worked with one child who had severe autism whose only way of seeking interaction was inappropriate behaviors such as hitting or spitting. Each time he was punished, he would repeat the same behaviors again even during the punishment. This individual wanted social connections, but was rewarded by any social response, even very negative ones.

As I take this course on children with emotional/behavior disorders, especially in subject matter where it pertains to autism, I realize I carry with me some understanding of the psychology behind these behaviors. In some cases, it is not a child simply “being bad,” but one that is confused or trapped.

With All Your Friends

2011-08-23T11:34:00.001-06:00

I was browsing the book section in my Mom’s store the other week and I thumbed through a picture book describing a child’s first day of school. One thing I noticed was that the author referred to all the classmates as the child’s friends as if automatically assuming a child would be friends with everyone. In some ways, I wondered if books like that create false expectations for children about school, especially those with special needs.

I would not tell a child starting school detailed accounts of bullying or scare them. However, I wonder if there is a way to prepare them, especially a child who is different, that school may be a struggle for them. In my experience in kindergarten, I didn’t really care about interacting with other children, I was more interested in being chased down the hall. I made a few friends in first and second grade, but by third grade, I was mostly rejected by my peers.

Some children, especially in major metro centers, spend their first few years of schooling in a special education setting to try and prepare them academically and socially. When they are ready to transition to “regular” schools, they often go from an environment where their differences are the norm to being the odd one out. I believe it is necessary to transition these children to mainstream, especially if they have future plans for college or university and need the full academic curriculum. However, I worry about the social impact of this transition. In my opinion, I don’t know if it will result in the child forming typical peer friendships, or just being socially ostracized. I was never in a special education class. I had a teacher’s aide in kindergarten, but by first grade, I was on my own.

One suggestion I would make is to have a discussion with your child on the spectrum early on about their diagnosis and strengths and weaknesses. Role play social situations such as joining a game or talking to classmates. Initiate neighborhood games in your yard to get other children to join your child at play, then slip into the house when the interaction starts to go smoothly.

For me, I made a few friends along the way, but didn’t really find my place until university. I am still not part of the “mainstream” world, but I have realized I don’t have to be. The friends I do have are very important to me, more important than if they would have come easily to me.

Belonging?

2011-07-19T06:57:00.001-06:00

I’ve always struggled to relate to my peers, especially when they come in groups. I’m no longer bullied like I was as a child. Most people at least attempt to be nice to me. However, many of my peers aren’t sure how to relate to me either. It is easy with someone who is socially awkward to make the mistake of talking to them like they’re a younger child or to simply give one-word responses to their contributions to conversation.

I am not alone in the world. I have as much of a social life as I’d like to have. I have a close family who remain my best friends, and a few very special friends outside of my family, one of whom lives in my city. The rest I keep in touch with through a combination of instant messaging on facebook, phone, and email.

I may not want to party every weekend, join in the gossip, or make friends with everyone I meet. However, it would be nice if more people took an interest in me as a person. It would be as simple as things such as being asked about my weekend, or listening if I told a story about the flood in our basement last week or acknowledging my comment on the approaching thunderstorm.

I am not a typical person in my interests. I do fit in well among my graduate classmates I have met so far. This is probably because I have more in common with these people and it takes common interest for any kind of friendship to develop. Even if I never do super well with acquaintances, it is the special friendships that matter and I have no problem with those.

Sexuality and Autism Spectrum Disorders: the outcome of the study

2011-07-05T21:11:00.004-06:00

This citation and abstract for the Sexuality and Autism Spectrum Disorders project that was posted on this website back in 2009 are below. Unfortunately, I am only able to post the citation and abstract rather than the full article, but even this gives a good amount of information about the study. For those of you who participated, thank you. For anyone else, this may be interesting information.

Laura Gilmour, P. Melike Schalomon, Veronica Smith, Sexuality in a community based sample of adults with autism spectrum disorder, Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, In Press, Corrected Proof, Available online 2 July 2011, ISSN 1750-9467, DOI: 10.1016/j.rasd.2011.06.003.
(http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1750946711001115)

Abstract:
Few studies have examined the sexual attitudes and behaviours of individuals with high functioning autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) living in community settings. A total of 82 (55 female and 17 male) adults with autism were contrasted with 282 members of the general population on their responses to an online survey of sexual knowledge and experiences. Findings revealed that individuals with ASD display an interest in sex and engage in sexual behaviours and showed no significant differences in breadth and strength of sexual behaviours and comprehension of sexual language when contrasted with non-ASD participants. However, despite these similarities, a higher rate of asexuality was found among individuals with ASD. In addition, the results of the current study indicated that females with ASD show a significantly lower degree of heterosexuality when compared to males with ASD. The results also suggested a higher degree of homosexuality among females with ASD although this effect did not reach significance.

Making the Impossible Possible

2011-06-23T11:31:00.003-06:00

Today is the day I attend my official convocation ceremony for my Psychology degree from Grant MacEwan University. My time there has overall been an excellent experience. However, there is always a few bumps along the road. A few weeks ago, I was in an Asperger’s chat room and was saddened to see that many young adults with AS did not get the supports they needed to finish high school, much less attend post secondary education. Here are a few of the things that worked for me:

-A strong family support network made a major difference. My parents and brother have a good educational background and were able to tutor me in courses such as chemistry or math-based courses. I have a unique learning style and my Mom was able to speak “my language” to enable me to grasp concepts. In my early days of university, my parents often helped me advocate for myself.

-I was not afraid to accept disability services. I registered with Services for Students with Disabilities and received accommodations such as a computer to type essay questions due to coordination difficulties. SSD also helped me advocate for myself and explain my disability to professors. I also accepted our province's disability income support system (AISH) which encourages people to be as independent as possible. Most jobs are not open to me due to my communication and coordination difficulties, even though I can work in specialized knowledge-based settings. If partial support is available, take advantage of it. If all works out, someday, your taxes will help others in the situation you were in when you were younger.

-I received encouragement and mentorship from professors. Working on a research project with my supervisor allowed me to have a consistent thing to focus on and the experience taught me invaluable things about collaboration and social interaction in general. I also learned how to make a good hypothesis that I came up with into a professional research paper.

-I was not afraid to make a switch when my original program wasn’t working for me. The communication skills difficulties of AS made my practicum in education a nightmare so after some frustration, I made the switch to a more research-based direction. There were setbacks and problems and when I reached a dead end, I would turn around and find another route.

-It took me 6.5 years to finish my BA degree, but it happened with a 3.5 GPA (3.7 at MacEwan, not counting the few science courses I took at U of A), a paper in press for publication, and an acceptance to a Master’s program in educational psychology.

I advise others with AS who have similar aspirations to utilize the supports they need (this cannot be done alone) in order to make a dream like this become a reality. It won’t be easy and many times it will seem like you won’t be able to make it any further, but it can happen. For those of you in high school who are frustrated with the constant bullying and lack of understanding of teachers and peers. Don’t give up. You have too many good things ahead of you.

Instructions for the World

2011-05-21T15:36:00.005-06:00

1.I may appear disoriented and confused in crowded public places. Sometimes, in these places, I have trouble finding the right words. This does not take away from my intelligence.

2.Although I am not a social butterfly, and hate large social gatherings, I do have friends that aren’t relatives, who like me as a person and enjoy spending time with me. They are neither my guardians nor my therapists

3.Some of my interests may be typical of younger children or preteens. For instance I enjoy some video games and books that are typically enjoyed by children. I also enjoy swing sets and spray parks. This in no way makes me a child.

4.Unless someone is a medical professional for whom I have booked their services, or someone I have directly asked for help, do not treat conversations as opportunities for social skills training. If something is a major problem, please talk to me quietly, afterwards, in private. This does not apply to immediate family.

5.Please focus on the message of my conversation and do not put too much focus things such as me being off balance standing on the bus due to my motor issues or my sometimes awkward hand gestures. I do not mind explaining the reasons behind these. However, I do not want to feel as if I'm under a microscope.

6.I am aware of and open about my limitations and if I tell somebody how they can help, I appreciate it when they listen. 99.9% of the time it is something very simple.

Someday World

2011-05-18T21:56:00.001-06:00

A few years ago, I was having a conversation with a friend. She remarked how much happier I seemed lately. I had gotten a new puppy over the summer and was eager to start a new school year. I remember her saying that there are some people who spend their lives saying “someday I’m going to be happy” and that it is better to enjoy the now rather than waiting for that “someday.”

Over the last few months, although excited, I have stressed myself out over the transition to grad school. (People with Asperger’s Syndrome have difficulty with change of routine). I kept telling myself that when a certain thing was accomplished (e.g. receive my letter of admission, got my disability services set up at U of A (in progress now)), I would be happy and relax. Today, I took a look at myself and realized I am living in that “someday world” again.

I, and other people with AS who are prone to anxiety, potentially need to change their focus to how they can make today the best day possible and what they can physically do to plan for the future. If it is something out of one’s control, I find the best techniques are thought stopping, exercise, meditation or prayer, or doing an alternate fun activity.

Hopefully, I can get out of “someday land” and live every moment while looking towards the future with joy.

Do any of my readers or their family members struggle with difficulty with transitions and/or anxiety. If so, how do they cope?

The Young Adult Paradox

2011-04-26T13:44:00.000-06:00

When people think of adults with developmental disabilities, they picture individuals who need help in most or all aspects of life. For instance, they may picture a young adult who lives in an assisted living facility and works in a sheltered environment. On the flip side, when someone pictures a highly intelligent adult, they envision someone who breezes through life with straight As in university, volunteers building houses in Africa, all while working full time. For adults with dual exceptionalities, like myself the reality is somewhere in the middle with aspects of both of these descriptions being true.

I am entering my Master’s in September. My research collaborators and I should have a paper published this year. I have finished the draft for a 30,000 word juvenile fiction book that I plan to submit to an agent. I had a cumulative 3.5 GPA in university with my psychology marks all being in the A range.

However, if I travel to an unfamiliar route, I need someone to accompany me the first few times and help me form a verbal map in my head in order to be able to navigate the place independently. I have trouble following a conversation of more than three people as all their voices seem to meld together. Figuring out a physical task such as how to operate a barbeque requires a lot of practice. You get the idea by now, I think.

There are plenty of resources available to children with difficulties and for adults with more severe disabilities. I have received a lot of coaching and mentorship from family and friends. However, I wonder about the high functioning adults who do not receive this sort of support. I am fortunate enough to live in a province which provides financial support for many individuals like the ones described above, but I wonder if most people in this category receive the chance to reach their full potential. As I progress in my career and get opportunities to do research and public speaking, I will speak for those who weren’t given the chance I was.

Micro-Managing

2011-04-11T15:41:00.002-06:00

As illustrated by my last post, it seems that some of the smallest things can make a difference in my health and happiness. I’m not sure if this is due to individuals with AS being more sensitive, or if it is just a personal thing. In my weight loss efforts, I have to cut my calories low enough to gradually lose weight, but if I go the smallest amount too low, I have “crashes” where I feel anxious. One accidental ingestion of a small amount alcohol (I ordered a fancy coffee not realizing it was spiked) resulted in me being disoriented and having difficulty walking. I am extremely sensitive to the additive ginseng and have to read all drink and supplement labels to make sure they don’t contain it. A minor virus often will not cause a lot of obvious “sick” symptoms but will greatly reduce my sensory tolerance and make it difficult to impossible for me to be in public places. Hence, I often miss school for minor illnesses. Yet, the smallest things can make positive differences too. Exercise, especially ones that provide good sensory feedback such as jumping on my trampoline, results in greatly increased mood and stability. Holding one of my favorite pets such as my baby bearded dragon Xena, instantly relaxes me. It is a delicate balancing act, but one I usually do well.

The Problem with Processed

2011-04-03T14:35:00.002-06:00

At my last doctor’s appointment, my doctor pointed out to me that there had been some recent research linking processed foods with anxiety and other mood issues. She suggested limiting my amount of processed foods and using whole foods when possible. Last week, I started on the Weight Watchers, PointsPlus program, a plan that encourages that kind of eating. Within 24 hours, I’ve noticed a difference in my overall mood and energy level. I always used to run a low level of anxiety most of the day, and now I’m feeling a lot better, including less sensory symptoms. I haven’t completely eliminated processed foods, but I am carefully controlling the amounts I have of them. I’m curious to see how this will pan out for me in the long run and what further research will say. I do not believe that dietary changes will completely replace medication and other therapies, but I think they will likely be one more contributing factor to feeling better. I have noticed a lot of parents of children with special needs blogging about dietary changes having a positive effect on their child lately. I would like to see some of my readers' opinions on this.

A Dream Come True

2011-03-12T15:58:00.003-07:00

I found out yesterday evening that I was accepted into my grad school program in educational psychology. I got a letter from the edpsych program and am awaiting my formal letter from the main department (administrative/formality). My dream of doing research to help others with Autism Spectrum Disorders is going to be a reality.

When your child is diagnosed with Asperger’s, there is often a great deal of uncertainty about that child’s future. I still need more help in certain areas than others my age do, but I will continue to learn throughout my life.

When I started this blog in 2006 I was uncertain where life would take me. When one educational path didn’t work, I kept trying new ones until I found the right one. The picture above is of me celebrating yesterday night with my family.

Surviving the Ordeal

2011-02-20T21:10:00.002-07:00

When you begin school as a different child, everyone is willing to help. Kind kindergarten classmates offer to be your friend and you are invited to birthday parties and playdates. Young children willingly slow down their games, especially when guided by the teacher. Somewhere around the second to the fourth grade, things change. You are not cute anymore and there are higher expectations for behavior. You are falling further and further behind your peers so it is more difficult for them to slow down their games. Simple tag and hide and seek become complex ball games in which you are afraid of the ball and don’t understand the rules. Toys that were cool in kindergarten are babyish now but you’re not quite ready to grow up. Teachers, often instead of being helpful and patient, are impatient and frustrated. Minor infractions result in being labeled a “bad kid” or a child with “behavior problems.” You begin to stop caring what others think and begin to wander the perimeter of the playground by yourself. By the time junior high comes, you are more concerned with being left alone than making friends. You lash out in any way you can, which results in more negative labels from peers and teachers. The kindness of an occasional good teacher or classmate helps you wade your way through the storm. When you graduate, you know you have survived. Finally, somewhere outside of the narrow walls of grade and high school, you find your place. For some, it may be in the tolerant academic world of university. For others, it may be in a non-academic career or living arrangement with others who share your interests and world view. Even then, it takes a while to realize you are worth something. When it finally happens, you realize everything was worth fighting for.

Sense of Rhythm

2011-02-16T16:45:00.001-07:00

I am in between educational programs right now. I hope to start my Master’s in September and I hope to work in a summer camp environment in July and August. However, with Asperger’s, it’s difficult for me to go out and get a job right now because many positions don’t suit my abilities.

Since I am home for a while, I am taking this opportunity to learn some domestic skills and work on some unfinished projects. As I need structure in my life in order to be happy, I have created this rough scheduling system where I set four simple goals I will accomplish each day. These range from doing household tasks to taking the time to contact friends. It gives me a sense of routine in my life and makes me feel as if I’ve accomplished something each day. I have included a screenshot of my day plan (not showing the parts that have other people’s names on it for privacy reasons).

I think this would be a useful strategy for high functioning individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders who are unable to work or go to school. It would help them complete necessary tasks rather than resorting to hyper focusing on special interest activities and it would give them a sense of purpose. For those of you who aren’t currently employed, what strategies do you use?

And a Little Child Shall Lead Them

2011-01-28T03:18:00.001-07:00

As I check the internet everyday to see if I’ve been accepted into graduate school (even though I likely won’t hear until March), I look back to my own childhood and wonder if the experts who diagnosed me at age four would be surprised to see me get this far. I was supposed to have difficulty learning to read because of symbol recognition. I read well, but never learned to read or write cursive beyond a very elementary level (not much of a handicap in the world of computers). I was supposed to never do higher level math. I passed university calculus in 2007 (a C-, but still a lot when most people with similar diagnoses to me do not make it past upper elementary/junior high math). I found my gifts in creative writing and in research. My professors are always impressed by the research ideas I come up with. Now I can only hope I get the opportunity to utilize my strengths.

I often wonder about parents whose young child has been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder and/or Non-Verbal Learning Disability. What do they imagine their child’s future is going to be like? Do they envision an intelligent, but quirky adult, or do they imagine an adult who will need help with most aspects of daily living. It is very difficult to tell with young children what the future will be like. However, I encourage parents of newly diagnosed children to dream rather than of specific outcomes for their child, to dream for as much as possible and set the sky as the limit. Every child won’t reach the sky, but they may reach the top of a tall mountain or tree. All will climb some.

I was recently reading the website of a ten-year-old with a rare genetic condition who was supposed to die at birth. Now she is learning how to use the potty and a communication board. No, this child will likely not be an independent adult, but for her and her parents, her accomplishments are just as great as the child who someday graduates from Harvard.

It is my belief that we are on this earth to learn and be the best possible person with the abilities we have. True happiness is not found in an IQ score or bank balance. I believe our life is defined, not by worldly achievements, but by reaching ones maximum potential, and the love of those close to us.

Two of the first children with special needs to inspire my direction in life were two siblings born in Finland. I read of their story on the internet when I was 13. Both children had severe brain damage and functioned at about a newborn level even though they were 16 months and 8 years old. At that age, I corresponded with their mother by email and though of ways to enrich these children’s lives and make them experience as much as possible with their limited abilities. The 16 month old learned to laugh a few weeks before leaving this world. Although neither of these children spoke a word, their lives meant something to me and were one of the many inspirations that took my life in this direction. Them and many of the children I worked with personally, were as important in guiding me in the right direction as were my academic professors. And a little child shall lead them.

Developmentally Appropriate Physical Activity

2011-01-04T12:51:00.001-07:00

Children with Asperger’s often present with motor difficulties that make traditional gym class and playing active games with other children difficult. For instance, I have trouble perceiving objects in motion so I never could figure out if the ball in ball games was flying at me or not. This often lead to me crying as a child, thinking I was going to be hit when the ball was far away. In neighborhood games, I always came in last and had trouble keeping up with other children. This (as it did in my case) can often lead to weight gain in children with Asperger’s Syndrome.

There are many options for physical activity for children with ASD that do not always involve large groups of other children. Here are a few.

Special needs sports or games
There are some activities designed specifically for children with special needs. For instance, your local autism society may have a summer camp where children get the opportunity to participate in physical activities with children of similar ability.

Swimming
Some of the awkwardness presented by AS is lost in the water. Also, swimming lessons are individual so a child as a chance to work at their own pace. Just going to the pool or waterpark for fun is good too. A child can get lots of exercise from running through sprayers or climbing waterslide ladders

Trampoline
This helps alleviate sensory imbalance (I find this very helpful) and it is also good exercise. For a child, make sure the trampoline is surrounded by a safety net and the child is supervised.

Motion video games
Games such as Wii sports, Playstation move, and recently the new XBOX 360 Kinnect allow children the opportunity to practice at their own pace at motion activities. As for the Kinnect, it also likely gives the benefit of allowing the child to practice motion in 3D space. Although some of these may not burn as many calories as full-paced traditional sports, any exercise is better than none.

Thankyou Grant MacEwan University!

2010-12-16T19:46:00.004-07:00

Graduation Poem
Farewell small world
Where I was welcomed with smiles
And treated like family
A world which became
A second home to me
A place where I could practice flying
Without fear of falling too far
A place where others guided me
In determining the direction of my life
A cocoon for an inchworm
Who must now break free
To spread its wings across the world
I leave this place for the bigger world
But I bring with me
Memories, growth, and lifelong friends
-Laura Gilmour, December 2010

This post is dedicated to the many wonderful professors and support staff who guided me in my journey at Grant MacEwan University. I wrote my last exam as an undergraduate student today. Convocation will be in June and I will hopefully be starting my Master's in Educational Psychology/Special Education in September.

When I started at MacEwan in 2004, I was relatively immature and still working on self-control even though my grades were excellent. I have grown in my time there from an older adolescent to a young adult ready to take on the world. I will now likely find a place in the world (research) where my intelligenge and strengths are greater than my Asperger's Syndrome related difficulties.

Thank you MacEwan!

Aspie Aspirations

2010-12-05T02:25:00.000-07:00

When many people think about dreams, they think about the rarely obtainable things such as winning the million even if that may not be the thing that brings them the most happiness. Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome and other disabilities, like neurotypicals also have dreams and aspirations. Sometimes these are similar to those of their peers. Other times they resolve around special interests.

Over the last few years, I’ve had several of my big dreams come true. A few years ago, I greatly admired (and I still greatly admire the work this man does) a man named Guy Tozzoli who was involved in the construction planning of the World Trade Centre towers and promotes peace through trade. In grade 11, I participated in a contest for the World Trade Centres Association where I wrote a short essay on peace through trade. My essay was one of the winning ones. I also wrote to my local World Trade Centre to see what they were doing for World Trade Centers Association day (Guy Tozzoli is the president of the WTCA). To make a long story short, I got to go see the grand opening of our city’s World Trade Centre and meet Guy Tozzoli. I was one excited young girl.

In 2008, I wanted to do a psychology research project. I approached my favorite psychology faculty member at the university I attend and asked her if she knew anyone who was doing research. She offered to do a project with me. That weekend was my birthday weekend, and I was more excited about the project than my party and gifts (even though I received some very nice gifts from my family). Now two years later, the final statistics are calculated and we are preparing to submit this project to a journal. We’ll also present it at a conference next year (another one of my dreams).

If you’re an aspie with a crazy dream revolving around a special interest, do some thinking of the best way you can make this dream happen. Once your plans are in place, all you have left to do is to excitedly talk about it non-stop to your friends and family for months before and after.

Like Minds

2010-11-14T13:59:00.002-07:00

I haven’t been blogging regularly lately because I’m in the process of preparing for graduation and grad school. One thing I’m finding as I move closer towards my academic interests is that I’m finding like-minded people. It’s refreshing to be able to have a conversation, and even a future academic career in my areas of interest rather than for me to be that little girl carrying on a one-sided conversation like the DSM’s AS criteria of “Naive inappropriate one-sided, interaction.”

Temple Grandin was once an awkward child who talked excessively about cattle chutes. Now, it is her career to design them. A young man with autism who was obsessed with bus schedules as a child found a job working for his city’s transit system giving telephone directions (reader’s digest story from a few years ago). In careers that focus on specialized skills, those with AS are more likely to find people who share their interests and even make some friends.

I may never be the person who participates well in a casual group chit chat, but I can speak quite confidently in a group about research. In May, I presented the current research project I’m working on with my supervisor to a small group of autism researchers at the Glenrose hospital. I enjoyed the experience of discussing the project with a group of interested professionals.

Some parents of children with AS may try to discourage the child’s special interests in hopes it will normalize them. I believe it is good to encourage children to have other interests, but unless the interest is in something distasteful, criminal, or dangerous, I believe forbidding it is like taking away part of who the child is and not allowing them to be themselves.

Encourage the girl who loves dinosaurs to join their local reptile society, or have them raise and care for a pet lizard. Let that video-game loving boy read some books on programming language to mod his games, and even take some classes in computers. Let them find their place by who they really are, not by pretending to be someone else.

Takeoff to Transition

2010-11-02T14:30:00.003-06:00

I am currently in my last term as an undergrad. In a little more than a month I will be leaving the University I have attended since 2004. I will be leaving behind cozy places to study, familiar professors, and services for students with disabilities that suited my needs. If I get accepted into graduate school, it will only be a 20-minute bus ride away, at my city's major university. They have one of the best educational psychology research programs in the country. A lady I know fairly well and admire her work wants to supervise my research. I know several people in the Educational Psychology department. However, as an individual with Asperger's transition, even good transition brings on some anxiety.

I will try over the next few months to focus on the great excitement of being a potential graduate student, of the new research ideas I will generate during my time there, of knowing I am always free to come back and visit my favorite people and places at the university I began my studies at. I am also easing myself into this change by meeting in advance with the people I will be working with at the university. All know I have AS and all have been excellent.

As a child, whenever I transitioned to a new school, I would make several visits in advance with my family or school staff where I would meet the people and learn my way around. This time, I have done this on my own and am already familiar with the place. It's just a matter of lifting my feet of the ground and flying.

Well Said!

2010-10-16T00:45:00.002-06:00

Check out this excellent perspective on women with AS in this Psychology Today link.

The above article was posted to a newsgroup I belong to. Issues such as sensory overload and peer interactions are a constant source of frustration for me so it was nice to see someone write about it and provide a very accurate description.

The Whole Person

2010-09-28T21:51:00.000-06:00

I have often thought of my Asperger’s Syndrome as a part of my identity. Yes, it is a part of me, but there is much more to the person I am than a syndrome. My research supervisor pointed out to me today that AS is one part of a whole person. Another psychology student last week told me he saw me not just as a person with AS, but as a fellow psychology student.

So this leaves the question, who am I? What part of me does AS not define? AS is intertwined into my personality, creating an exceptional memory and an intense ability to focus but that is not the whole picture. I am:

-A young woman who loves animals and will spend a large amount of time playing with and admiring her pets. I have a love for all species of animals, including exotic pets such as reptiles and insects.

-A psychology student with strong interest and abilities in research.

-An individual who loves any body of water, however big or small. This includes everything from our backyard pool, the water park in our city’s mega-mall, to the vast ocean in the Maritimes.

-A person with a strong faith in God even though I don’t belong to a particular religious affiliation. The one that would fit my beliefs the closest would be Universalist.

-Someone who loves to write stories for children. I am working on preparing several juvenile fiction manuscripts for submission to publishers.

-A lady who loves to spend time with my family. Everyone in my family are best friends.

-Somebody who loves to play simulation games and escape into the imaginary worlds in them.

These few facts are only a glimpse of my personality. What makes you or your child with special needs a unique individual (not counting disabilities)?

Route 501 Leaving at 6:25

2010-09-22T18:38:00.006-06:00

There is a scene in the children’s book All Cats Have Asperger’s Syndrome where a young kitten is frantic because his mother is a few seconds behind schedule. People with ASD, including myself, sometimes tend to obsess over schedules and routines. This works great with school and work assignments, but doesn’t go over as well with relationships with family and friends.

Unlike the city’s subway system where all trains arrive at a set minute, social interactions do not run on a schedule. A family member may be late coming home from work without anything being seriously wrong, someone may not be able to respond to a phone call or email right away, a family friend might show up at the door for a surprise visit, you may graduate from a school or move to a new city and have to face the new reality of not seeing old friends as regularly… the list goes on.

When dealing with the social rules, individuals with ASD must learn to let go of the rigidity and go with the dynamic flow. Social time should be a time of sharing and enjoyment, not a time of franticness over disrupted routines or anxiety about upcoming change. The dynamic nature of family and friends is what makes the time spent with them extra special and something to be enjoyed, not wasted.

When dealing with the social world, leave your rigid schedule at home in the back basement.

Normal?

2010-09-17T12:27:00.000-06:00

There have been several recent blog posts from parents of children with various special needs wondering how their child will handle life without a certain ability or how their child faces the recent reality that they are different from others. No matter how much therapy most individuals on the autism spectrum undergo, they will never be “normal,” but that does not mean that the majority will not live a happy life in the right environment.

For someone with severe autism, that environment may be a supportive living setting where they have their sensory objects and comfort people close by. For someone with High Functioning Autism or Asperger’s syndrome, this may be an online community, an academic setting (i.e. the eccentric professor), or many other niche places.

There is often concern from those who care for individuals with ASD that these people will be unhappy due to having “no friends.” When people envision friends, many will picture going out to a party with a group of your peers. Interests may include the latest fashions or what a particular celeb is doing. That is not so true of the Aspie world.

Some people with ASD do not want these “normal” friendships. This does not mean that they do not crave socialization. A social opportunity for an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome may be an online gaming or creative writing community, a collaborative special-interest project with someone, or a quiet evening spent with family and pets.

Some people on the spectrum do eventually have groups of friends and even marry and have children. However, for those that don’t live the typical life, one of the most important things for them and those who love them to realize is that it is okay not to be “normal.” Different can often be just as good as “normal,” just for different reasons.

I get excited about the latest step in the research project I’m involved in, an interesting upcoming lecture, a meeting with one of my favorite professors, a new simulation game, time with my family and animals, and many more things. It’s not the latest celeb gossip, but to me it’s ten times better.

But She's a Little Genius

2010-08-23T14:18:00.000-06:00

Parents of young children on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, particularly those with above average intelligence are faced with a confusing situation with their children. A very young toddler may be able to speak in sentences, count, and know all their colors, but only a trained eye will be able to tell that that child is not making eye contact, has sensory issues, and has more tantrums than the typical toddler.

At the age of 6 months, I said my first word, “button” and by a little over a year I was speaking in sentences. As a baby, only my Dad noticed that I didn’t follow faces properly. It wasn’t until the year before I started kindergarten when I’d panic when hugged by relatives, had frequent tantrums, and didn’t seem to understand when I got in trouble that I was sent for assessment. When I was older, teachers often blamed me for my social mistakes because they assumed that someone with such high grades must be doing these behaviors on purpose to annoy others.

The point of this post is that a child can be very intelligent and high functioning and still have significant developmental delays in other areas. If someone had a two or three year old who wasn’t walking, the child would be referred for help right away, but for a child with social delays, the realization that there is a problem is often much longer. The earlier the intervention, the better the outcome and then the child may have the chance to fully excel at the areas they are a “little genius” in.

Unconventional Non-Verbal Communication

2010-07-31T21:08:00.002-06:00

Contrary to popular belief, individuals with autism spectrum disorders are very expressive individuals who communicate a lot through their body language. It is just a different language than the traditional one that most people use so it can be difficult to interpret. In my summer work this year I have learned even more about what can be said without using words or traditional gestures.

I’ve seen children do a unique special dance where they rock back and forth and sway their head when sung to, demonstrating their love of music. I’ve seen children take your hand to lead you on an adventure with them. That adventure may be a walk around just for the sake of walking or a request to visit the nearby spraying fountain. I’ve seen children give the biggest smile when you sing about their favorite toy, take your hand to lead you to sit down and share a moment of quiet with them, and gently push away when they’re tired of a game. A flapping hand or a skip indicate excitement and enjoyment of one’s day as do “happy noises. Excited flapping may intensify when an object of interest is spotted such as a car zooming by out the window of the van. Lifting up one’s foot and showing it to you means they don’t want their shoes on anymore and want to run barefoot in the summer grass and wading pools.

When things become too much, these children may lay their heads down on the table and turn away to tune out some of the noise in the room. Sometimes, a wildly flapping hand or other intense stimming is a way of saying “I’m overwhelmed. There’s too much going on.”

My work this summer has reinforced my love of studying special education and the very reasons I want to go into research. I think my biggest goal as a future researcher would be to help bridge the gap between the language of autism and that of English.

Independence Day

2010-07-05T01:46:00.001-06:00

In this post, I am not referring to the American national holiday. I’m Canadian. I’m referring to a piece of assistive technology that I purchased today that is going to greatly increase my freedom. I have always had severe navigational difficulties and traditional maps are problematic because I cannot always orient myself in space. When traveling on the transit system, I am usually only able to transfer busses at major hubs due to them being recognizable landmarks.

In the past, someone (usually my Mom) had to accompany me when I took any new route for the first time that was the slightest bit complicated. If she did not accompany me, she had to take my printouts of maps and draw on landmarks and detailed instructions along with many verbal prompts.

Today, I purchased a GPS system for my iphone. I’ve figured out I can type in any departure location and destination location in the city and it will give me step by step verbal instructions as I walk. This will allow me to take new routes independently and maybe play some tourist in my city on my days off.

It will also be of great help in my future studies, which will require me to travel to several conferences in different cities. I’ll actually be able to leave the hotel and get back safely. I wish I would have made this purchase ages ago.

A Cultured Being

2010-07-02T16:52:00.001-06:00

I have had the recent pleasure of meeting and interacting with other young adults with AS. Some of these interactions have been through my work and others have been online. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to converse naturally and not put on the normal “mask” that you have to put on in public. I think it is very much like individuals who come to Canada and learn English as a second language. They are often thrilled when they find someone in this new country who can speak their own language. As my parents spent most of their lives in the Maritimes, they are often excited when they meet another person from out East and a meeting often results in long conversations even if their interests are different.

The language of autism spectrum disorders has its own cultural norms in some ways. Handshaking with friends rather than hugging, pacing when thinking, flapping hands when excited, sharing special interests rather than chit chat—yes the AS culture is a unique one.

The Tangled Web of Genetics

2010-06-13T21:04:00.000-06:00

There has been some recent media attention about scientists identifying some of the genes responsible for autism spectrum disorders. For the most part, this research is demonstrated that autism Is much more complex than previously thought. To make a long story short, there are many genes that are expected to contribute to the development of ASDs and each individual with ASD is likely to have their own unique combination of genes. This being said, it would be very difficult to develop a prenatal test for ASDs, however, in the future it might be possible to test toddlers and preschoolers to develop the best intervention program for their genome. It might also be possible to give genetic counseling to a parent who already has a child with ASD on their chances of conceiving a second with the same condition.

I wonder what this will mean both for helping children with ASD who are here, and to help parents who face difficult decisions when planning their family. If I am ever in the position to have children, research like this will be relevant because I would like to know the risk of having a child with autism before I decided to conceive a child and if it would be a reasonable risk. Also, it could help my future children receive appropriate therapies.

I am excited to see what will come out of this in the next ten years or so

No Excuses

2010-06-01T09:21:00.003-06:00

Although I require more assistance than people my age in certain areas, my family has always encouraged me to be as independent as possible and never allowed me to use my disability as an excuse. I may be unable to find consistent employment at this present time, but I am loving and respectful towards my family and animals, do my best work in university, and help out in any way I can.

As a child, I had tantrums due to Asperger’s Syndrome, but the Asperger’s was not allowed to be an excuse for bad behavior. My family and therapists worked with me on learning appropriate ways to deal with emotions. It took years of work and many failures along the way, but as an adult, I no longer have tantrums.

Even now, when I say something inappropriate or inadvertently interrupt or but in, I want to be told politely that I made a mistake and what the mistake was so I can do better the next time. I often explain that I have Asperger’s so people know that I am not deliberately being rude, but that is not intended to be an excuse.

Sometimes I really do need extra help. For instance, balance and awareness of space is a problem when I’m standing on a crowded bus. Over the years, I have become more confident with politely asking for a seat when needed.

My advice to parents of children with ASD is to correct socially inappropriate behavior, but not in a disciplinary manner unless they are certain the child is deliberately misbehaving. Finally, always be sure to teach the child the correct behavior or response. This may need to be done multiple times.

Stop the Slurs

2010-05-28T01:57:00.004-06:00

When I was a child, I was constantly called “retarded” by classmates. In grade 3, people even made it into a song. Asperger’s Syndrome is not an intellectual disability, but I do not think that I am “superior” to individuals whose disabilities are in intellectual functioning rather than non-verbal communication and social skills.

I do not think people should be shamed, thought of as less worthy of medical treatment or assistance, or in any ways judged as worth less than members of the general population on the basis of disability. Some of my friends and some of the children I have worked with do have intellectual disabilities. When interacting with these individuals, I do not focus on their differences or what they “should be doing at their age,” but rather on what interests them and how to make them happy.

I wish we lived in a world where minority groups could be left alone and go about their lives. Why should the young adult with Down’s Syndrome be laughed at for playing on a playground. They enjoy this activity and it is not harming anyone.

Next time somebody feels like firing a slur at someone, be it an “innocent” comment about someone who “looks funny” on TV or a directed insult at a live person, think of the impact of words. In my opinion, making slurs acceptable opens the door to violence.

Confidence

2010-05-25T11:29:00.001-06:00

For the last few years, in addition to AS, I have lived with anxiety. Over the last year and a half, this had been complicated by the death of my grandmother. I became used to my safe little world of home and University. I didn’t realize how nervous I was about new things until our family went camping last week. It took me about a day to get used to the slow pace of the lake, walking barking dogs, and climbing onto boats. By the second day, however, I was swimming off the boat.

Things I find that help with anxiety are writing my thoughts down and writing rationalizations for negative cognitions (learned this from a counselor), playing relaxing video games (love the music in Harvest Moon), swinging, and jumping on my trampoline. I have only recently begun to get back to my trampoline routine again. It will take a while to build up the stamina.

It is likely that many individuals with ASD, even those without anxiety lack confidence due to repeated failures in social and other domains. Parents, caregivers, relatives, and friends need to find a balance between encouraging independence for that individual and not pushing them too far from their safety zone.

For instance, next year, I will likely be attending a psychology conference that requires a flight. I love presenting and am very excited about the conference, but a bit nervous about flying to an unfamiliar place. Not going because of that would be denying myself an opportunity, but I am glad that my research supervisor and mentor is attending with me. It will be a lot more fun with a familiar person.

As a young child, I remember being afraid of going in the deep end of the pool. All summer, I stood on the edge of the pool slope, afraid to swim past it. Then, one day just before the labor day weekend, I took off cautiously swimming the length of the pool—flying on my own.

Twice Exceptional

2010-05-21T01:02:00.003-06:00

A few weeks ago, I attended an excellent presentation at the Glenrose hospital put on by a professor I know. In her presentation, she discussed the lack of available services for adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders. In my opinion, I think that this is especially true for adults with ASD who do not have intellectual disabilities.

Adaptive functioning is defined as ability to navigate and interact in one’s environment and is unrelated to academics. A university student with ASD may not need academic help to succeed (which most universities provide). However, they may need coaching in appropriate interactions with professors and classmates (which most universities do not provide).

Although my city has few official programs for individuals with high functioning ASDs to learn skills for survival in society, I have benefited a lot from unofficial mentoring. Sometimes it’s simply additional instruction or clear directions of expectations from someone who is mentoring or working with me. Other times it’s setting high expectations for me while still recognizing my limits.

Although it is unofficial, I have found my university’s services for students with disabilities, and the professors in the department of psychology, to be the biggest contributors to my personal growth in learning about collaborative working relationships , efficient social communication, and surviving in academic and work environments.

I am a budding researcher with high intellect, but I am also a young adult with a disability. I am not on the same level socially as my peers and often have difficulty relating to them. I will likely always need additional support in certain areas. What I would like to see is for the province to create official programs similar to the unofficial mentorship I have been receiving. I believe this would be beneficial for many adults on the high end of the spectrum.

Maximize not Stigmatize

2010-04-23T18:37:00.002-06:00

There are multiple ways of determining level of functioning in individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Astrid recently did a post about how those with autism and cognitive disability are often stigmatized. I do not believe determining level of functioning should be about judging the worth of a person, but rather to determine the best ways to maximize their abilities.

For instance, IQ testing mostly focuses on academic skills. In some cases, individuals with mild-moderate cognitive disabilities may have better daily living skills than individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome or High Functioning Autism. I have read case histories of individuals capable of performing at the university level academically who were unable to do basic personal care. There was a story in the paper about a young girl who had an above average IQ but was developmentally, in all other aspects, like a seven-year-old and needed constant supervision.

The key point is whether an individual’s disability affects academic or language skills or not does not always determine how much help they will need. It’s a matter not of how much help, but of what kind of help.

I am hopeless at recognizing faces and cannot tell most of my classmates apart. Even if a close family member changes their hairstyle, I may not recognize them. I also have trouble with directions and haven’t yet learned my way around the neighborhood my family moved to a year ago even though it is only a few blocks from my old neighborhood. I’m going to need someone in my family to take me out and practice routes. Right now, I know how to get to my bus stop, and the way back to the old neighborhood and that’s it. GPS technology has been somewhat of a help to me in this area.

On the other hand, an individual with a mild intellectual ability would most likely be able to navigate their neighborhood, but may need help doing things such as reading mail, paying appropriate bus fare, and managing money. I have no problem with those things.

Even individuals with severe and profound disabilities are capable of forming emotional bonds with and becoming important members of their family and community. Their role may be of someone much younger, but they live and love just like those without disabilities. I remember one experience with a girl with severe autism and profound cognitive disability who clung to me at the end of the day because she didn’t want to go with her aide to the bus. Even though her autism prevented her from showing the typical facial expressions (she indicated interest or excitement by hand flapping), she was able to demonstrate that she had had an enjoyable afternoon and didn’t want it to end. I enjoyed working with this girl and I believe we both benefited from interacting with each other.

To sum up this post, level of functioning should be used determine the best way to maximize potential, not to stigmatize.

I Don't Get it In Real Life

2010-04-20T02:33:00.000-06:00

This year, I took two interesting psychology courses that focus on some social aspects of ife: social psychology and human sexuality. Since I have a good memory for material, I managed to make an A in human sexuality and an A- in social psychology. However, in the real world, I have little understanding of complex social interactions.

I’ve never understood all the emotions and social games involved in romantic relationships. I don’t really get group dynamics, especially when it comes to unstructured peer groups. It still baffles me why someone would act one way in one situation and then be an entirely different person somewhere else (e.g. why somebody would be interesting to talk to in class, but annoying outside of class).

I guess you could say I have friends because I have people who I share common interests, ideas, and social bonds with. I also care about them. However, I don’t really have any peers I identify with. Somehow, I don’t feel I’m lacking either. I’m very happy with the social life I have.

My social life is somewhat fragmented, where I’ll fit in with people in certain situations, but they belong to a whole other world that I don’t understand, and I’m not even sure I want to understand. I’ve come to accept that some parts of me are stuck in pre-adolesence whereas other parts of me have strong career and life ambitions.

There was this one book I read about this 12-year-old genius who was taking university courses. She didn’t really fit in with other 12-year-olds or her university classmates. I read the book as an adult, but could relate to the character because I understand how hard it is to function on multiple developmental levels.

I hope over time I will get better at accepting this dichotomy.

A Much Needed Update

2010-04-05T12:58:00.001-06:00

Most of my recent posts have been academic/essay style as to attract a larger audience. However, I think it’s time I gave an update on my life and how I’m doing.

After this term, I have three more courses to complete to get my Bachelor’s in Psychology. I plan on graduating in January. I am submitting my application for graduate school this December and if everything goes right, I will be attending in fall 2011.

My research supervisor and I are working on making the study I posted last summer on this site into an article suitable for publication in a journal. I will keep you updated on the progress of this.

I still struggle with Asperger’s and anxiety. This is most apparent when I have to function in unstructured groups. I believe my biggest challenge to becoming a researcher will be improving my communication skills (especially the non-verbal ones) so I’ll be able to teach classes.

I am not sure if some of my dreams will come true. Due to my high need for alone time and sensory issues, I do not know if I will ever have a relationship or have children. However, I think I will make a wonderful auntie to my brother’s future children. I am also a proud pet-parent.

As the last year has been tough on me with my family dealing with the death of my grandmother, I gained some weight in the process and our whole family is working on getting weight off. I am starting to get back to bouncing on my trampoline and rollerblading.

That’s all for now,

-Laura

Structure

2010-03-20T00:57:00.000-06:00

It's often been said that individuals on the autism spectrum need structure in order to survive. I find this is especially true with my relationships with other people. I don't survive well at unstructured events such as parties or gatherings of groups of students. These either result in tuning out, sensory shut down, or me saying something that is not appropriate for the conversation.

As I mentioned in many posts, I do not attend social gatherings. However, I seem to do very well in structured collaborative relationships. For instance, if somebody is working on a research or creative writing project with me, I am often able to get along very well with that person and enjoy the process of working with them. My strengths are very knowledge-based and these type of social bonds work better for me than traditional "buddies" that "hang out." Some small talk occurs about our everyday lives, but it makes sense and isn't just random banter.

I feel I get enough social stimulation from my activities at school and online, even though it isn't in the traditional way that most people my age do. Sometimes I feel this inner pressure to belong to the crowd due to society's expectations, but I need to realize that I should consider my own needs, not some imaginary expectations. I am not a neurotypical person and it would be painful to pretend to be one.

Not Just Okay

2010-03-13T15:23:00.002-07:00

Everything doesn't come easy to me. Sometimes I have to consciously plan and work extra hard at achieving things that come naturally to most. However, I also excel at some things others struggle with.

I have bad days where I am unhappy with myself and the world, but everyone has bad days and I am happy most of the time.

I have had lots of frustrating and/or embarrassing situations due to my disability, but I've also had many moments of pride and excitement.

I don't have a typical social life with crowds of friends that I hang out with on weekends but I have many people who are important and special to me and who make my world a brighter place.

I am not moving through life at the same rate as my peers. I'm not ready for relationships or full-time work. However, I do expect that I will eventually become mostly independent, just on my own timetable.

I know I will not achieve every one of my dreams. Then again, nobody does. I am lucky in the fact that many of my dreams have already come true, and I hope for many more to follow suit.

Other than a few rare moments in time, I do not wish that I was not here or have never been born. I am not just happy with my life, I am thriving.

Can't Do It All

2010-03-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

I sometimes find it frustrating that despite an above average IQ, and high academic skills that I cannot take on as much as my typical peers. Yes, I may make As in many of my courses, but any term that I have attempted a full courseload has resulted in illness and extreme exhaustion. Working during school is impossible.

I am currently enrolled in three courses (was originally in four but was becoming run-down and had to drop one despite relatively high marks in that course). I understand than when I apply for graduate school, I will likely be applying as a part-time student.

I don't understand how many of my peers are able to attend school full time, work outside of school, get good grades, and have a social life. I find the socialization I get at school more than enough and by the weekend I am ready to relax in the quiet of my home with my family and animals.

I have gradually come to accept that although I have many strengths, I am NOT non-disabled and that it is ridiculous to expect myself to perform as if I didn't have Asperger's and anxiety. Over the years I have learned to accept help when needed, but I still sometimes feel I don't "measure up."

Put it in Writing

2010-02-24T16:53:00.002-07:00

As a university student, I have learned the importance of being aware of what accommodations I might need at the beginning of each term and making sure they are all in place before the term begins. For instance, halfway through the term in biology a few years ago, I realized the labs were becoming increasingly physically complex and my difficulties with coordination were not helping. I was in need of a lab assistant and it was a desperate scramble to find one. Luckily, my biology professor went out of his way to recruit in his classes and one was able to be found.

This term, a few accommodation issues have come up. I realized I needed a tutor in class that had a great deal of visual diagrams. Luckily, student services was able to make changes to my plan midterm. Another issue that has arisen with my AS is that minor illnesses amplify my sensory problems and make it very difficult to impossible for me to be in public places. This especially creates problems in classes with attendance requirements. Even going to the doctor's office for a note is problematic. I am currently trying to work this issue with student services and my doctors to ensure I can do alternate assignments on days when these issues arise to avoid losing marks. This is an issue I should have addressed at the beginning of the term because it is more complicated to deal with mid-term.

My advice to any students with disabilities attending university is to be aware of what accommodations you may need at the beginning of each term, and make sure these services are in place before the term begins. Also realize that your needs may change for different terms depending on the classes you are in.

Staying Up With Revisions

2010-02-23T15:25:00.005-07:00

I have decided to keep this website going because there are some regular followers who gain support from this site. However, I am going to be making a few small changes.

-Anonymous comments will not be allowed anymore. I also reluctantly added word verification for comments. I personally dislike this as it can cause challenges for people with visual or perceptual problems. If anyone has trouble submitting a comment, email it to me, and I will post it on the blog. However, I am tired of filtering through three of four spam comments a day.

-I will be removing some potentially sensitive information from blog posts. I am very open about my AS at school and will probably be so in my future workplace as well, but there may be a few things I may not feel comfortable sharing with the public. Over the next few weeks, I will check my posts for these things and take them out. If anybody has any questions about my personal experience that are relevant to their situation, sitll feel free to ask me anything by email.

-There may be some times during the school year when I am too busy to do frequent posts. I will try to update at least twice a month.

All Good Things Must End

2010-02-22T10:21:00.001-07:00

I think the time for this wonderful website may be coming to an end. Bloggers are moving to facebook and twitter and the vast majority of emails and comments (in fact almost all of them) that I've received in the last few months have been spam.

In December, I will be applying to graduate studies and in preparing for my professional life, there will be more aspects of myself that I want to keep private. I am going to leave this site up for the next month or so and then make a decision.

I have enjoyed running this blog and reading everyone's comments.

Always There

2010-02-08T09:26:00.004-07:00

A support network is an essential element in the lives of individuals with disabilities (or all individuals for that matter). Even when the outside world was not kind to me, I always had a loving family to go home to. Home was (and still is) a place where I could be myself and be accepted unconditionally.

People with AS do need to learn social skills and when done by those who care about them, it consists of gentle modeling and explaining. However, those who care about those with AS should sometimes let the person relax and be themselves. Sometimes the rambling about one's special interest, the atypical hand gestures etc. should be allowed to come out to play, especially after this individual with AS has spent all day suppressing them.

I have many wonderful people (and animals) in my life who accept me for who I am and recognize me as a unique individual with strengths and weaknesses. No, they don't have to see me as perfect, as long as they don't hold my weaknesses against me. In fact, it is better that they have a realistic opinion of me than to see me as perfect.

My parents take the time to listen to me tell my stories of my days at school. My grandmother (Mom's mom) who lives around the corner takes the time to read my creative writing and listen to me. My cousin in Nova Scotia is always eager to hear from me when I call her on the phone. My brother and his wife always spend some special times with me with they come up from Calgary. My professors and online friends share some of my special interests and have also provided emotional support in times of need. Finally (and not least), my animals provide constant friendship and companionship.

Thank you everyone in my life for brightening my days and encouraging my dreams of the future.

Taking the Garbage Out

2010-02-02T19:14:00.002-07:00

Today is the day that the vaccine autism link has been discredited. As someone who is strongly interested in autism research, it discourages me that poorly designed studies can cause harm to children and their families. When a child is first diagnosed with a serious neurological condition such as autism, parents want answers as well as solutions for treatment. Many of these parents look for advice in internet search engines and don't have the educational background to be able to distinguish garbage from reliable information. It is especially hard when this garbage makes it into an academic journal (as was the case with this 1998 article on vaccines).

Not vaccinating your child can have serious consequences both for that child and other children around them. Several of the "therapies" for autism that can be found in the search engines also have risks (e.g. chelation therapy).

There are many reputable behavioural and medicinal treatments for autism and the related autism spectrum disorders. If you are unsure of something, ask a qualified health professional such as a psychiatrist before attempting any therapy on yourself or your child.

As of today, one unreliable article that has lead to countless misinformation-laden autism blogs and websites is being revoked. Hopefully, this will put an end to some of this garbage.

Can't Recall

2010-01-25T00:20:00.001-07:00

Unknown Person: "Hi."

Me: "I must know you from somewhere, but I'm not sure where. Did I take a class with you?"

Unknown Person: "You sat next to me last term in psychology and we talked every day."

Similar versions of this conversation occur several times per week at the small university I attend. One of the most embarrassing aspects of Asperger's is the inability to recognize (or sometimes even describe people). This also makes making friends difficult. I make a "friend" for a term while they sit beside me in class and then they disappear into the woodwork like a needle in a haystack.

I tried to create my family the other week in this virtual life game called the Sims 3, where you can make a Sim look like just about anybody. The version of my mother was so distorted that Mom made me delete it (she laughed though).

Recently, I described a person I know fairly well to my family. When they saw a picture of that person, they said that the individual did not fit the description I gave of them very well.

Some theories of face blindness in Asperger's say individuals use the part of their brain responsible for object recognition for recognizing faces. Other theories say it is impaired visual memory for faces (e.g. occurring at a higher level of the brain than those with prosopagnosia due to brain injury who can't even recognize their own face).

This term, I am taking an advanced perception course and one of the major topics is neuroimaging of face processing. Maybe I will gain some more insight into this.
For now, all I really know is it's frustrating.

Eugenics or Realism?

2010-01-19T21:24:00.004-07:00

Genetic pre-selection is a controversial topic. Personally, I am strongly opposed to abortion once an embryo has implanted, but have mixed feelings about genetic pre-selection or in vitro techniques. I am not one for designer babies or sex selection for cultural reasons. However, I wonder if in certain cases genetic pre-selection is warranted.

For instance, in the case of autism, there is no current way of determining genetic risk factors of individuals who want to be parents other than knowing that individuals on the spectrum are of higher risk of conceiving a child with autism. Boys have a much greater likelihood of being born with autism than girls, so in that case I wonder if it would be wrong for parents to select a female child.

I am not trying to get into eugenics in this post. I am doing relatively well, despite being an individual with high functioning Asperger's Syndrome. The majority of individuals with mild-moderate autism can also live a relatively good quality of life. However, I wonder in the most severe cases (self-abuse, can't stand any noise etc.) if life is hard for both child and parents.

From a religious point of view, I believe life begins at conception or possibly at implantation. I wonder if an embryo is actually a life until it has the potential to develop. A high percentage of pregnancies don't even make the implantation stage.

I am curious to what my readers' viewpoints on this are? I have very mixed feelings myself.

Choose Your Own Accomodation

2010-01-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

As a university student with Asperger's Syndrome who also has some learning difficulties, I have to take that into consideration when selecting my classes. Often, it is not the subject matter itself, but a particular teaching style that enables me to do well in a class.

For instance, even though I can type fast, I have a hard time copying large amounts of material from the board due to tracking. Handwriting is hard for me to read. Also, I find it difficult if we are expected to take in information while writing things down. Therefore, whenever possible, I pick profs that either provide their notes online so I can have them in front of me or follow along. It also works well when professors give their lectures entirely verbally so I can type without having to worry about tracking. I also have difficulty interpreting information from films so I try to pick professors who don't give too many films. I check professor ratings to see if these things are provided and sometimes make switches in the first few weeks of classes.

Each professor has their own style and should not be expected to change it for individual students (other than easy accommodations such as providing printouts of slides). Often it is up to the student to find professors whose teaching style matches their learning style. Throughout my university career, I have managed to get all the courses I require, plus the electives I wanted despite this "choose your own accommodation" style of selecting classes. This sometimes means I won't always get to take a class in the semester of my choice though.

Christmas Gifts for People on the Spectrum

2009-12-21T18:47:00.004-07:00

Many parents and other family members of individuals with ASDs have difficulty figuring out what to get them for Christmas. Here are a few suggestions.

1. Indulge your family member in their special interest. For instance, if they like tall buildings and structures, they may love a model of the CN tower. If their interest is countries, some flags or flag stickers may be a good choice. Sites like ebay and Cafepress are good for finding gifts specific to special interests such as models, T-shirts, stickers, or mugs.

2. Sensory toys are a good idea for almost any age. For instance, last year, I received an industrial grade swingset from my family. Another year I received a mini trampoline. I also love squishy balls of all types. Your family member may also be fascinated by musical, animated, or light-up ornaments or toys (I am). These ideas would work for individuals on all levels of the spectrum.

3. Many individuals with ASD are computer savy and like video games and/or electronic devices. Some suggestions include Ipods, Nintendo DS consoles or games, and PC games. They may also enjoy software that isn't intended for gaming. For instance, some children with ASD may enjoy creating spreadsheets in excel or writing stories in Microsoft Word.

4. Many individuals with ASD enjoy movies and/or DVDs. Some people may prefer documentaries to fictional shows.

5. Reading material is always appreciated, especially when it's related to the individual's special interest. Many people on the spectrum prefer non-fiction to fiction. As a child, I used to love getting books about cat care for Christmas as my special interest was cats.

Known Risk

2009-12-20T04:44:00.001-07:00

I hope that I will have children at some point in my life. I know it won't be for a long time because of my plans for graduate school. However, when I do have children, there are some considerations to be made about genetics. With my Asperger's Syndrome, there is an elevated (but nobody knows the exact level) risk of me producing a child with autism or an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

I have read many blogs and online discussions about the ethics of producing, carrying to term, or prolonging the life of a child who is at high risk for disabilities. For instance, some parents of extremely premature infants that survived with severe disabilities questioned whether they should have resuscitated these babies. Other parents who were carriers of particular genetic disorders considered whether they should have another child and the ethics of procedures such as genetic pre-selection and abortion. Parents make these decisions while balancing the welfare of both their child and the rest of the family.

Personally, I am pro-life and if there was a genetic test available for autism, I would not feel comfortable genetically selecting for the "right" embryo. However, I wonder whether it would be ethical for me to produce a child in the first place and knowingly create a child who would have a high risk of disability. A child with Asperger's like me would have a relatively good quality of life. However, one with severe autism would experience their everyday world, like I do during my worst sensory overloads. Every noise and touch would be painful to them.

I know I'd be able to handle a child with autism and I'd greatly enjoy raising them. I relate well to children with autism and enjoy interacting with them. I just wonder about the fairness to the child, and also to the rest of my family (e.g. my future husband, parents etc.)

Although it is a long way in the future, and I'm not even in a relationship of any kind, I have often wondered about the ethics of producing a genetic child when you have a high risk of having a child with a disability. Is adoption better in these cases? I am interested in any feedback on this.

Access to the Latest Research

2009-12-12T15:11:00.002-07:00

I recently did a post where I talked about teachers in the 1990s improvising a communication board for a boy who was blind and had autism. After some of my readers pointed out that there has been some research into communication methods and blind children with autism, I did a search of my university's databases and found a few good articles. Even though I try to stay up to date on the latest autism research and am a psychology student, I wasn't aware of this research.

This left me wondering about classroom teachers working with students with special needs. Unlike people in the academic community, they don't have free access to academic journals or online databases. Even if they did, many of them would not be able to interpret the statistics in the articles.

I have found this to be true in my experiences working with children with special needs in various settings. Often people in the university communities would know of a certain method (particularly with students that were unusual cases such as those with severe and multiple disabilities), but the classroom staff would not be aware of these methods. For instance, I have seen cases where PECs cards were used with children that didn't have the cognitive or motor skills to use them due to lack of awareness of other methods.

One thing I hope to do in my future career in educational psychology is to make more of the latest research available to teachers in formats that they can interpret. Maybe I'll even set up a special education news website where I'll do summaries and annotated bibliographies of research articles pertinent to special education.

Do any of my readers in the education field have any suggestions about this?

The Problem of Perception

2009-12-03T23:16:00.001-07:00

Although I am able to compensate for visual spatial difficulties on IQ tests by verbalizing, this does not translate over to the real world. Every day when I make the transition from my university to the bus stop to go home, I have to cross several intersections. As I have great difficulty judging the flow of traffic, this is always a nerve racking experience. I have come close to being hit several times. I always breathe a sigh of relief when I reach the curb. Due to these difficulties, my doctor and I both believe that it will be unlikely that I will ever drive. There is a winter storm warning in Edmonton tomorrow with high winds and reduced visibility. I will likely not be attending classes tomorrow because there it would be dangerous for me to navigate the intersections under such conditions.

I also find it difficult when I'm standing on a bus and someone asks me to move so they can get off. I always struggle to figure out which direction to move in. People are usually fine when I apologize and say I have a learning disability in this area. Some are even kind enough to offer me a seat.

A few days ago, I was in the line up to get my flu shot and was directed to stand in a certain place. I was confused as to what the lady was saying, even though she directed me several times. Fortunately for me, she immediately recognized I was having difficulty and provided a more detailed verbal description, along with partially physically guiding me. I told her I had Asperger's Syndrome and she let me know that she had a family member who had similar perceptual problems due to a brain injury.

For the few people that get frustrated with me, such as some people who beep at me in the downtown intersections, there are many more who are understanding once they know how they can help. I am writing this post to thank all those who have been helpful to me in this area.

Into the Swing of Things

2009-11-23T13:11:00.002-07:00

Note: This is a reflection on events that happened two years ago. I now have my own industrial-grade swing in my back yard and use it almost daily.

On a sunny, fall day, I picked up my Ipod and started to walk down to the local playground. Swinging and listening to music always relaxed me, despite the fact I would often get stares from other people in the park due to my age. Being watched always made me slightly anxious, but not enough to want to stop swinging.

On this particular day, I walked down the street to the park, hoping it would be quiet so I'd get a free swing. I also hoped that nobody would bother me. However, my body craved the full body motion of the swing sailing through the air. I think one of the reasons I didn't feel much anxiety about breaking social norms, is I was never one to conform to a group. Even in high school, if my group members had the wrong answer on a project, I would protest loudly and refuse to give in to them, despite ending up being ostracized. As I almost never conformed to group norms, I didn't establish idiosyncrasy credits, I almost always acted outside the norm. It was always my personal belief that somebody should be free to do whatever they enjoy as long as it does not harm others in any way. Conformity was a bad word.

When I got to the park, I sat down on the swing, turned on my music, and closed my eyes. I was in my own world, pretending that the others in the park weren't there. Suddenly, three young girls about junior high aged stood in front of me. I pulled my headphones out of my ears. "Do you want to play tag with us?" asked one of the girls.

I assumed they must have known the children I babysat and I had a reputation for being a fun babysitter so I tucked my Ipod in my pocket and followed them over to the playground equipment. I was thinking that I was being kind by agreeing to play with these children. When the game began, I struggled to climb the structures of the equipment as I have some difficulties with coordination. Eventually, one of the girls stood in front of me and said, "Tag me. I'll be 'it' now." I was beginning to feel suspicious that these girls were "being nice" to me rather than the other way around. My anxiety level was beginning to rise, but I continued to play. For once, I thought I was conforming to a social norm, one that said if somebody asks you to do a simple request, you'll oblige.

After we ran around for a few more minutes, one of the girls stopped, stared at me and asked, "May I ask you a question. Are you mental?"

My heart started to beat fast. I knew I had Asperger's Syndrome and struggled socially, but I was always proud of my intelligence and my good grades in university. I toyed around in my head with how I'd explain to this children how I had strengths in certain areas but struggled in others. I felt I owed them some form of an answer, even though I did not have to say anything.

After a few minutes, I finally came up with an explanation. They asked me a few questions and then we ended up talking about something different. When the conversation was finished, I started to walk home.

As I was walking home, I wished people would leave me alone and not judge me. Swinging was a behaviour more typical of children so I wondered if people may think that because I was swinging, I automatically had the mentality of a child. This angered me. I was also annoyed at the use of the term "mental" because I have some friends who have intellectual disabilities and I don't believe this should make them any less of a person having social difficulties would. I also wondered why I don't judge these friends for their differences, yet I felt the need to be defensive of my own intelligence.

After studying social psychology, I concluded that although I don't always go along with group norms, I still feel the need to make myself look good in front of a group and am upset when people judge me or treat me differently. The behaviour and attitudes of others won't necessarily make me conform, but it still has an effect on me.

Unlike in the Experiment

2009-11-18T20:58:00.001-07:00

People seeking psychological interventions are a diverse population. They often have individual differences that make these people less homogenous as a group than those in controlled clinical trials of treatments. When treating these patients, sometimes it is necessary to take these differences into account by deviating from treatment methods used in trials.

There has been a great deal of research on augmentative communication and non-verbal people with autism. Cards with line drawings and text are the most commonly used method. When I was living in Nova Scotia, there was a boy in the high school's special education class who had autism and was also blind. Therefore, any cards with pictures would not be suitable for him. The staff put buttons with several different textures onto a talking communication board so the boy could feel the differences between the buttons.

Over time, as therapists discover individual differences in the patients they work with, they can document their course of treatment and publish it as a case study. As more case studies become published, clinicians will be able to research treatment in cases similar to unique cases they may be presented with.

A recent case study documented the management of a transgendered man with autism. It was the first such case to be published. In a case such as this one, psychological management had to take into account the man's social difficulties related to autism as well as those related to his gender. Treating this man the same as the transgendered individuals in large scale randomized studies would not be appropriate, because none of these individuals had autism.

If a large amount of similar case studies are published, a meta analysis can be performed to give some indication of effectiveness of particular treatments in unique situations. For example, if several case histories were published on communication and blind children with autism, therapists could infer treatment techniques from these studies. However, this is not as structured as randomized controlled studies so no definite cause and effect inferences can be drawn. However, cases like these are uncommon enough that it would be unlikely to get a large enough sample size to participate in a randomized controlled trial.

Another advantage of documenting unusual cases and their diverse treatment plans is allowing clinicians to determine if their case is entirely unique, or if there are other similar cases in the literature. For instance, IQ is predicted to be relatively stable across individuals' lifetimes but cases exist where one can undergo major changes. In my own case, I was able to use strong verbal skills to compensate and bring my performance IQ up from the borderline range into the average range. When reading a recent study on young adults with Asperger's syndrome and outcomes, I've realized that this is uncommon, but not unheard of. In fact 15-20% of individuals with high functioning autism or Asperger's syndrome eventually compensate for their difficulties enough to be fully independent. One man in the study became a married university professor.

Besides learning from large scale studies, clinicians and researchers can gain a great deal of knowledge from case studies and their own atypical patients. Psychology is not a "cookbook" in which a psychologist follows a recipe to treat a patient. They must be able to tailor treatment to the unique needs of their patients.

More than Medication

2009-11-12T15:02:00.000-07:00

When a new pharmacological treatment becomes available for a psychological disorder, it is usually widely publicized by its manufacturer. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for non-medicinal psychological treatments. There is also more government funding available to assist patients in receiving medicinal treatments than there is for patients receiving non-medicinal therapies.

Risperdone is a commonly used drug to control aggressive behaviour in individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs). It has shown success in reducing the frequency of tantrums. Patients with ASDs typically stay on risperdone permanently as studies suggest that behaviour returns to baseline within several months of being taken off the medication.

Applied Behaviour Analysis is a validated therapy for helping children with autism develop appropriate communication and behaviours. It involves analysing aspects of the child's behaviour and environment and using the principles of conditioning with the goal of changing behaviour. Although it is not a cure for autism, this therapy has shown statistically significant improvement among patients, often resulting in improved quality of life for children affected by autism. Unfortunately, very few provinces or health insurance plans provide funding for children with autism to receive this therapy. However, many health plans cover risperdone.

In my volunteer work with children with ASDs, many of these children were on medication either for anxiety or aggression. However, medication did nothing to help these children develop adaptive skills. This was done through specialized therapies conducted by professionals from a variety of disciplines, including psychologists. Medication cannot teach a child how to have a conversation or make eye contact. Nor can it teach a child appropriate outlets for the urge to engage in self-stimulatory behaviour.

Besides volunteering with children with ASD, I am also an individual with Asperger's syndrome. Medication has played some role in helping me develop self-control. However, medication alone is only a small part of the therapeutic process. In order for me to become successful in controlling the emotional outbursts associated with Asperger's syndrome, I had to be trained in relaxation techniques such as meditation, recognizing and rating my level of frustration, and methods of removing myself from a situation before I was unable to control myself. None of this would have been accomplished if I had been treated by a general practitioner who did nothing more than scribble a prescription on a piece of paper.

In many cases, psychological treatments are just as, or more important, than medication in the treatment of disorders. However, it is only recently that psychology is being recognized as a medical profession. It may be more difficult to promote awareness of psychological treatments than it is for drug treatments due to the mass marketing of drug companies. However, public education, along with demands for government funding of psychological treatments, will help ensure that patients get the most successful therapies, rather than the most marketed ones.

Safe Havens in The Storm

2009-11-12T10:30:00.003-07:00

I do not like crowds and become easily overloaded/overwhelmed in busy public places. One place I especially hate is a certain grocery store in our neighbourhood that always has masses of people and a large echo. I sometimes get so overwhelmed in that store that I briefly lose my words.

I often decline invitations from friends to go to busy public places (except for World Water park because I love water so much that I put up with the sensory overload). I'm glad the University I attend (which has only recently achieved University status) is a relatively low-key place. The classes only have about 30 people and the halls are relatively quiet. There's also lots of small, quiet spaces to go work in like the place I'm sitting in the picture at the top of this post.

I also prefer to meet with friends and family members one or two at a time rather than in large groups. At large family gatherings, I socialize for about an hour and then have to go off on my own.

In my school and work, I will always have to deal with overload so it is important for me to have some quiet places to go when I need to be alone.

How do you other aspie/spectrum readers deal with overload in public places?

The Right Family

2009-11-11T02:50:00.000-07:00

The recently publicized case of Elton John and his husband trying to adopt an infant with HIV has raised some serious questions about adoption and children with disabilities. In my opinion, all too often, children spend their lives in orphanages or foster care because the laws that dictate what constitutes a "good" family for a child rule out people that could be a good match for a child but do not meet requirements due to being a non-conventional family or the wrong race.

For instance, in Alberta, many First Nations children wait in foster care for families because non-native families aren't allowed to adopt them. Yes, parents of the same race and culture of a child would be ideal, as would be a two-parent family with a mother and father. However, these options aren't always available, especially for children with significant disabilities.

I believe the most important element of a family is unconditional love. Wouldn't it be better for a child to have a family who is a different color than them or non-conventional than for them to never have a family to call their own?

What are your opinions on this?

What's in a name?

2009-11-10T23:37:00.001-07:00

There has been recent discussion about eliminating the diagnostic term Asperger's Syndrome in the newest edition of the DSM and merging it under the umbrella term of Autism Spectrum Disorders.

A lot of individuals with AS identify as "aspies" and like to see themselves as seperate from those who are "autistic." However, most research shows that rather than there being a clear distinction from "Asperger's" and "autism," it is more of a spectrum disorder.

The only distinction that I have sometimes seen made in literature between Asperger's Syndrome and high-functioning individuals with autism is that some experts say the difference is individuals with Asperger's have higher verbal IQs than performance IQs and that the opposite is true in High Functioning Autism. However the impairments with non-verbal communication, sensory issues and other symptoms do not differ significantly between these two conditions. I also wonder if Non-Verbal Learning disability will be included in the new edition of the DSM in any way.

I do not have a problem with this new categorization. I have worked with many individuals with autism and find I am able to interpret their body language (a more extreme version of my own) better than I can interpret the body language of the general population. I communicate and relate very well with individuals with autism, even those who are non-verbal and have profound cognitive disabilities. In a way, it is like being bilingual, being able to speak english, and "autism."

Society unfortunately has a stigma attached to the word autism, picturing only the most extreme cases. I think education is the key to reducing this stigma, not using labels to cover up the word "autism." I also hope that this new labelling system will allow more, not less individuals to qualify for services.

IQ Tests and Exceptions to The Rule

2009-11-03T13:46:00.002-07:00

For most individuals, intelligence Quotient (IQ) tests have relatively high predictive validity. Scores are also likely to remain consistent across the lifetime of individuals. However, as with medical tests, there are always patients that display exceptions to this general rule.

At age 6, I displayed a 40 point discrepancy between my verbal and performance IQ on the WISC (Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children). with my verbal IQ in the high average range and my performance IQ in the borderline range. When retested at age 12, my performance IQ was in the average range and my verbal IQ was in the superior range. Sometimes, children with learning disabilities are able to use their areas of strength to compensate for their weaknesses. For instance, I learned to verbalize my way through visual-spatial tasks. The psychologist administering the test noted that I spoke aloud to myself as I solved the non-verbal portions of the test.

The high predictive validity of IQ tests still stands for the general population. However, predicting an individual's future (especially when making decisions that will have a major impact such as choosing to place a child in a special education class) should be done with extreme caution. In addition to cases with children with learning disabilities, there is also some controversy about IQ testing with children who are recent immigrants or who have low socioeconomic status. For instance, a child may do poorly on the verbal section of a test due to lack of general knowledge about Canadian culture or a language barrier rather than a learning difficulty.

Except in the case where cognitive disability is fairly certain, limiting a child's educational opportunities by placing them in an educational program that will not give them full access to academics may put an artificial cap on the potential of the child. In some cases, a child will simply need accommodations such as extra time to complete tasks and additional instruction in order to perform at grade level. In other instances, modifications to the child's home environment can make a difference. Modifications to the core outcomes of the academic curriculum should be a last resort.

The best use of an IQ test with children with disabilities or other barriers to learning such as poverty is to determine their current strengths and weaknesses so professionals can best determine ways to help children overcome or compensate for these difficulties. As a child, my parents and therapists spent time coaching me in how to use self-talk to convert visual information into words. That and my already strong verbal skills allowed progress much farther than predicted in visual-spatial abilities. I was even able to interpret curves in first year University calculus with the help of a tutor. However, as predicted by that initial test at age six, residual difficulties still remain. For instance, I have problems with direction and orientation in space, thus taking many trials before I learn a route. The intent of this post is not to discount the predictive validity of IQ tests, but rather to state that humans are a diverse population and that not every individual in this population will perform as predicted. Therefore efforts should be made to aim for the best possible outcome rather than the predicted outcome.

Asperger's + Illness = ?

2009-10-28T16:21:00.005-06:00

When I get sick, I usually don't run a fever and I have a relatively high pain tolerance. The first signs that I'm coming down with something are usually dizziness and exaggerated sensory processing difficulties (often severe enough that I cannot tolerate crowds and public places), and agitation. I also often get chills and extreme exhaustion. In severe cases, I am not able to focus on any activity.

I know from some of the literature I've read that illness detection and diagnosis is often more difficult for individuals on the autism spectrum. Parents should watch their children for changes such as more tantrums or self-stimulatory behaviour. Adults on the spectrum should monitor themselves for signs such as being more tired or agitated than usual (this can be difficult to determine because those with ASD are often tired from the daily social interaction of school or work).

If you or a family member with ASD is feeling "off" for more than a few days without an obvious environmental cause, visit your family doctor and get some lab work. Don't always assume it's something emotional.

I was having extreme exhaustion and dizziness last week to the point I was unable to study for my exams. It wasn't until early this week that tests from my doctor revealed the cause. I've missed most of this week of school.

Do you or your family members with ASD display atypical symptoms when ill?

The Mind That Never Stops

2009-10-16T23:46:00.000-06:00

Even though life is going well for me right now overall, there is always something to worry about. That is just a fact of living in an imperfect world. The problem with that and Asperger's is often my mind doesn't know how to let go and enjoy all the positive things around me.

Obsessing about things that cannot be changed is a time waster and a good way to put yourself in a negative mood. What I try to do is when I find myself in a situation where I'm obsessing is ask if there is something I can do about it (e.g. help a person in need). However, if there is nothing I can do, I try to force myself into other activities. Once I get engaged in an activity, especially something relaxing like playing with my dogs, is hard to think of negativity.

I personally find meditation doesn't help much because it is difficult to hold that position for three minutes (I tend to stiffen). However, I like swinging and listening to music, jumping on my trampoline, white noise when I'm going to sleep, and spending time with my family and animals.

Over time, I am coming to realize that I can help others and do the best I can both with my family and people outside, however, I cannot take on the problems of the world. I am only human myself.

Respond to this post with your personal solutions for dealing with negative/obsessive thinking.

Water and Let Grow

2009-10-15T19:16:00.005-06:00

Yesterday, I was reading a biography about a family raising a young boy with autism in the 1970s (entitled "Mixed Blessings.") Then, very little was known about autism. Some people told the family that the boy was "retarded" and recommended that he be "kept away from 'normal' children as it would frustrate him." Other people said exposure to other children with disabilities would harm him and that this little boy had the potential to be "normal." Overall, there was very few resources available to this family, even though the father was a well known actor in the television show, MASH.

Even when I was a child (I was born in 1985) a lot less was known about children with disabilities than what is known today. For instance, as a six-year-old I showed a 40 point discrepancy between my verbal and performance IQ in favour of the verbal. Experts predicted that I'd have difficulty learning to read and write due to probable issues with symbol recognition and that higher level math would be out of the question. As of now, I make mostly As in my psychology courses, passed calculus (a C- but a lot for somebody who was never supposed to do higher level math), and have never learned to read or write cursive writing well even though I have no problem reading printing. I take notes and write exams on computer at university because even though I can print fairly neatly, my letters consist of drawn block letters and take away the focus from the content of my writing. On computer, I write very fluently.

Sometimes I get emails or questions from parents wondering how their young child with a certain profile will turn out when they are older. In my opinion (and I am not a medical expert), we know a lot more than twenty, or even five years ago, but prognosis is still a major guessing game.

For instance, Ned, the boy in 'Mixed Blessings" had a very advanced vocabulary and could write the letters of the alphabet as a toddler, but never really grasped the concept of structured conversation and has severe difficulties even as an adult.

I know of another individual from the town where I used to live, who didn't speak until he was seven and displayed many autistic tendencies, but grew up to be a prominent professional.

In the advice of a neurologist who evaluated me at age four, the best thing you can do for children with special needs is "water and let grow." Give them every opportunity to reach their full potential and see what they will become.

To Label or Not

2009-10-06T18:51:00.003-06:00

One of the major concerns with the DSM-IV TR is the lack of a clear distinction between normal variations in human behaviour and psychological disorders. According to the DSM, in order for something to be considered a psychiatric disorder, it must cause the affected individual clinically significant impairment. However, it is difficult to create an operational definition for clinically significant impairment.

For instance, in the case of those who meet the DSM-IV criteria for Asperger's Disorder (AS), by definition, these individuals will have impairments in non-verbal communication. However, if a person with AS is able to find a career that is information-based that does not rely heavily on social skills and obtains enough rudimentary non-verbal communication skills to function independently in society, should they still be considered to have the condition? Those with AS who are able to be financially independent usually still have difficulties in their personal life. For instance. they may have few or no friends. However, if they desire to spend much of their time alone, does this constitute a dysfunction?

In the small town where I lived as a child, there was a prominant professional who did not speak until he was seven or read until he was ten. As a teenager he showed an obsession towards genetics and interacted little with his peers. He also showed the stereotypical body language of an Autism Spectrum Disorder. As an adult, he was married with a family, but received some accommodations in the workplace, including guidance from coworkers when he made social errors. In his personal belief, he had autism as a child, but no longer had a disorder. Did he really no longer qualify for a diagnosis of autism, or was he simply living in an environment that allowed him to compensate for his disability?

I volunteered in settings with individuals with diagnoses of Asperger's Syndrome and High Functioning Autism. Some of the people I worked with had normal to near normal intelligence, but could not focus on a simple task for more than a few minutes without engaging in self-stimulatory behaviour. Their conversation skills were limited to citing obscure facts or asking questions irrelevant to the situation. These people could not function in society without a large amount of support.

Optimal functioning is achieved by very few individuals. Even people who do not have any diagnoses have strengths and weaknesses, along with times in their lives when they are unhappy. Bill Gates shows some stereotypical autistic gestures such as rocking. However, it is doubtful that he has difficulties in his everyday life. It would be unlikely that he would be diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome because there is no clinically significant impairment.

It is difficult to determine a cut-off point at which normal variation becomes a disorder, especially in cases where functional impairment is present, but not severe enough to incapacitate an individual. Diagnoses from the DSM are simply nomenclature. There are not enough labels to cover the vast array of individual differences. If someone meets the criteria for a diagnosis and could benefit in the form of treatment or community resources from receiving a diagnosis, the diagnosis should be applied. If someone is not in need of services to help them function, there is no need for a diagnosis. This eliminates the need to make the artificial distinction between normal and non-normal.

The Voice from Within

2009-10-01T18:40:00.005-06:00

Individuals with disabilities often have life experiences unique to their particular condition. For instance, a wheelchair user may be more aware of the effects of building acessibility than a person from the general population. As an individual with Asperger's Syndrome, I believe I am more aware of and able to emphasize with the social and sensory challenges faced by individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders than a member of the general population.

Psychology students may be able to read a textbook description of self-stimulatory behaviour such as rocking and even proposed reasons behind it. However, they do not have the direct experience to appreciate the regulatory functions of such behaviours. Similarly, an individual with Asperger's syndrome can read about body language and learn how to use it efficiently, but it is almost never natural to them. A college researcher can study aspects of a culture such as the Aztecs, but since they have never directly experienced life in the particular society they are studying, they cannot go beyond inferences.

Each individual is unique (even those with the same diagnosis). However, someone who is a member of particular disability group has a greater understanding of the group as a whole than someone from outside the group.

Just as we need women to research and advocate for woman's issues and ethnic minorities to research and advocate for their culture, our society also needs high-functioning individuals with disabilities to be advocates and researchers in the field of their disability.

This is one of the many reasons I plan a future career in autism research.

Out in the Cold

2009-09-30T15:39:00.004-06:00

This post is not specific to Asperger's Sydrome, but addresses the potential fate of many Albertans who struggle with mental illness or neurological conditions that cause psychiatric symptoms. Edmonton's Alberta Hospital is potentially closing many of its beds for patients with mental illness. As of now, only the most severe cases are hospitalized. These are people who cannot meet their basic needs, and will likely be non-compliant with medical treatment such as necessary psychiatric medications or even antibiotics.

Much of Edmonton's homeless population already consists of people with mental illness. Although many of these people receive AISH (a form of government disability funding that covers basic living expenses), these people are not able to effectively manage this money to meet their needs. They may self-medicate with illegal drugs and are often evicted from any housing they may find.

The aim to deinstitutionalize patients with mental illness began several decades ago. I am a strong supporter of community living when individuals are able to have their needs met in the community. This may mean being closely monitored by medical professionals, living in a group-home setting, or living with family. This only works in cases where people are going to be compliant with treatment or have strong family advocates. This cost cutting is not "community living" but throwing helpless people out on the street to fend for themselves.

The university I attend is encouraging all psychology students to sign a petition to stop this closure of beds. If you are a resident of Alberta and would like to become involved, write to your MLA. If you are a student or a health professional in the psychological field, see what opportunities your school or work have for getting involved in stopping this potential disaster.

Therapy and Accountability

2009-09-23T15:43:00.001-06:00

Psychologists and therapists play an active role in the lives of many individuals with ASD and related conditions. There are many therapies available, but it is sometimes difficult to determine if a therapy is effective, or even safe. This is not just true of Autism Spectrum Disorders, but of any other condition that might warrant the help of a psychologist.

There is danger in not empirically validating (treatment has been proved effective by controlled trials) psychological treatments. The most obvious risk is that of doing harm to the patient. Several years ago, a reader's digest article discussed a case where a women suffering from psychological symptoms underwent hypnosis that supposedly recovered memories of sexual abuse by her father. The woman's father was falsely accused of abuse and spent several years in jail. Family relationships were destroyed. There is currently little evidence to support the idea that hypnosis can recover repressed memories from childhood, yet this alleged therapy continues to be practiced by some clinical psychologists. Besides the risk of doing directed harm to the patient, there is also the threat of indirect harm by wasting time that could be spent on a valid treatment. In some instances, such as a patient who is depressed and in danger of suicide, this could result in the death of the patient.

Students of clinical psychology who are not trained to apply the scientific method when treating their patients would be suspected to be more likely to use non-scientific methods such as intuition when developing therapies for patients. This would leave treatment up to the imagination of an individual rather than scientifically tested methods. This is often seen in small towns where individuals who are not fully trained in clinical psychology perform some duties of clinical psychologists because the town is not large enough to attract a fully trained individual. For instance, in one rural town in Nova Scotia, a woman with her Bachelor's degree in psychology who was working on her Master's degree was responsible for evaluating children and suggesting major changes to their educational program. She based some of her decisions on instances such as observing a child in gym class for half an hour.

It is not always possible to immediately empirically test every treatment, especially minor modifications to a existing treatments. This is especially true in dynamic settings such as a s school environment. PECs (Picture Exchange Cards) are a recognized therapy for aiding communication in children with autism. However, a therapist may come across a child who is incapable of using PECS for a particular reason (e.g. the inability to interpret symbols such as the line drawings used in these cards). The individual working with this child may have to come up with a modification that may not immediately be able to be experimentally tested with a large group. For example, they may decide to use enlarged photographs of a child's favourite items to aide them in making requests. They may base this alteration on the existing empirical evidence that infants at a similar developmental level to the child in treatment will attempt to grasp at photographs as if they are actual objects. Even though a large scale experiment with a treatment and control group is not always possible, every modification to a therapy should be logically based on existing scientific evidence. Data from these modifications should be recorded and even possibly published. Whenever possible, future controlled trials should be conducted with a larger group.

Scientific method, at least to the level of a logical hypothesis should be employed in all aspects of clinical psychology. A medical doctor would not prescribe random household cleaners in order to test if they'd work as treatment for an illness. A clinical psychologist is also a health professional and should be held accountable to the same standards as all other types of workers in this category.

No Hanging Out

2009-09-02T22:19:00.002-06:00

I have a confession to make. I don't like hanging out. I'm not one for going out to clubs or even spending an afternoon at the mall with friends. This does not mean I don't care about or enjoy my friends. I love getting together with people for short periods of time such as a lunchtime conversation at school or a chat on instant messaging, but I prefer to meet with one person at a time and for short periods of time.

My favourite activities to do with others (other than my family which I do "hang out" with) are to work on projects pertaining to special interests. For instance, I enjoy working on creative writing projects with some people I know online, participating in online video game communities, and working on psychology related projects with professors and other students.

I am not a lonely person. I have a very close family and we do many things together. I also enjoy the social connections I have outside my family. For me a friend is more someone who is there to talk and share things with than a "buddy" to hang out with. That connection may even be through emails rather than in person contact.

I may not do the typical hanging out with peers that most people my age do, but I do have many people in my life whom I care about and they care about me in return

Burn Him, It's Fun!

2009-08-27T14:00:00.002-06:00

I belong to an online community for the computer game the Sims 3. The game is basically a virtual dollhouse where people live out their lives from infancy to death. Lately, on the bulletin board and places where people can post in game stories on the website, I've seen a lot of material (I know it's only a game) that is making light/encouraging mistreatment of individuals with differences.

I've seen videos of sims born different (usually glitches) where they were rejected by their parents and locked up as freaks or killed by the player. Another post that disturbed me was someone had an ugly sim born in their game and a response the post encouraged the individual to "burn him, it's fun."

I know The Sims is only a video game, but it disturbs me that there are still these underlying attitudes towards differences in our society. This is not Nazi Germany or the 1800s Southern United States. This is 2009.

A few years ago, I did a video on youtube where I talked about my experiences with AS as part of a fundraiser. Somebody left a comment to my video that all individuals with Asperger's should be put in concentration camps starting with me.

There are still too many real cases of violence and abuse towards those who are different in the form of hate crimes towards individuals with disabilities, homosexuals, and people of color. The majority of people who post to The Sims website are teenagers. These kinds of attitudes do not need to be practiced in an online community of young people who are going to grow up to be tomorrow's leaders of society.

Stress 101 for the Already Anxious

2009-08-13T13:43:00.001-06:00

I consider myself a person who is happy most of the time. My anxiety attacks put a mild damper on a small part of my life, but I try not to focus on that. When I'm in an anxiety type mode, I tell myself that this is a chemical imbalance and it will pass soon and that there is nothing to really be unhappy about. One of the things that gives me the greatest comfort during these times is holding my dog, Eva. She brings instant relaxation to me. I have her sleep beside me in bed every night (even though some recommend not having a dog sleeping with you) because it helps me sleep a lot better and makes my sleep much more restful.

This last year (especially the death of my grandmother in January) has brought many real stressors to my world. Learning how to cope with them while already dealing with the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome and anxiety has been a challenge, but it has been a doable challenge.
Things I recommend:

1) Try to take any moment when you are happy and do something enjoyable. This may be playing with your dog, going for a swim, playing your favourite computer game, or simply spending some relaxing time with your family. Try to make every good moment matter.

2) Realize that you are responsible for your own happiness and so is everyone else. Be supportive and loving, but never take on the problems of another as your own.

3) Make sure to integrate some exercise into your daily schedule. It may be hard to get yourself moving at first (I gained a lot of weight after the loss of Nanny and am just starting to work on losing it) but it will greatly reduce your stress levels.

4) Find things to smile about. One of the biggest joys in my life are my animals. I purposely chose the picture of Eva trying to climb into the hot tub for this post for the simple reason it makes me smile.

5) Realize that you won't be happy all of the time. Accept those times you are unhappy but when they are over resume living.

Disability Blog Carnival - August 13, 2009: Relationship and Disability

2009-08-13T12:49:00.014-06:00

Welcome to the August 13, 2009 edition of disability blog carnival. I have received many interesting submissions related to relationships and disabilities. Topics ranged from romantic relations, family relations, public relations, human and animal relations, and even relations with the government and public service agencies. I was surprised and impressed at the variety of topics that this carnival brought.

Ettina presents Two Different Sorts of Minorities posted at Abnormaldiversity.

Penny Richards presents Ramping up the flowers..... posted at Glitz-Oh!Girl, saying, "Making an adaptation for a loved one, with a personal (and pretty!) touch"

Kuna presents INTO the LIMBO posted at What a madhouse! - or the mental hospital in one post communist country.

Cheryl presents On Relationships: My 200th Post posted at Finding My Way: Journey of an Uppity Intellectual Activist Crip, saying, "not my best post ever, but hey..."

Hal LaPray presents Social Security Administration Adopts Plans To Reduce Backlog posted at Disability Information & Resources, saying, "The SSA has stated that each administrative law judge should be able to adjudicate 360 cases without compromising the mission of 1)providing timely and hearings and 2) timely decision."

Penny Richards presents Disability studies posted at baxter sez, saying, "In which family relationships bring someone to explore disability studies texts"

Hal LaPray presents Interview With A Social Security Attorney posted at Disability Information & Resources, saying, "Steven Packard, a Social Security Attorney who represents disability claimants granted an interview to the local news."

Penny Richards presents Success of a sort – The Life and Times of Emma posted at The Life and Times of Emma, saying, "Grrrrr about non-apologies and weasly letters"

Elizabeth McClung presents Loss: the 'real' Bucket List posted at Screw Bronze!, saying, "This is the one which means the most to me now. Perhaps by aug. I will have written something 'more'"

Penny Richards presents Disability 101: ABs/TABs Suggesting Treatments to PWDs posted at FACES OF FIBRO, saying, "Good Disability 101 entry on a recurring topic"

Penny Richards presents Ballad of the Amputee: The Song Remains the Same posted at | not invisible |, saying, "Just an interesting essay and photograph of "the lobster box""

Hal LaPray presents Senate Mulls Social Security Reform Ideas posted at Disability Information & Resources, saying, "While no new bills have been presented to either houses of Congress, the U.S. Senate held a Special Committee meeting last month to discuss better ways of implementing the Social Security benefits program for those who need it the most, the fastest."

Doug Boude presents Assurant Health Denies Coverage Because Young Man is Autistic posted at Doug Boude (rhymes with 'loud'), saying, "This post is an account of my attempt to acquire medical benefits for my oldest son, who is autistic. After having been summarily denied simply because my son is non-verbal, I wrote this post in an effort to share my heart-break at having been turned away and to bring to light what I consider to be discriminatory practices. Thank you for considering it.
Sincerely,
Doug Boude"

Penny Richards presents Peter Singer in the NY Times: Disabled Lives Worth Less, Hypothetically posted at Not Dead Yet News & Commentary, saying, "Stephen Drake's analysis of Peter Singer's latest"

Penny Richards presents Sociological Images » “Disabled Girls” Video Game posted at Sociological Images, saying, "Japanese video game set at a fictional school for disabled students..."

Gavin robinson presents Random Access - Challenged posted at Random Access, saying, "Holly writes about her experience of being officially blind in the US but not in the UK."

Amanda presents Breathtaking to behold: talking back to dismissal posted at Ballastexistenz, saying, "This blog article is about how to handle social situations where the opinion of an autistic person is dismissed by calling on stereotypes, by people holding more power to be believed than autistic people have, and how our community as a whole could learn to handle these situations in similar ways."

Amanda presents Are you autistic? posted at Asperger Square 8, saying, "About situations when autistic people are trying to communicate something and other people attempt to counter it with "You're not autistic, because...""

rickismom presents Ricki and Her Siblings (part of this post is a repeat) posted at Beneath the Wings.

Penny Richards presents The ever-expanding list of neurotypical privilege posted at Asperger Square 8, saying, "Good collaborative list building in this post..."

Penny Richards presents Slap in the face and a sick dog, too posted at Brilliant Mind Broken Body, saying, "Relationships with neighbors are among the stickiest out there"

Surbhi Bhatia presents Equine Therapy - The Viewspaper posted at The Viewspaper » The Viewspaper.

twxee presents 5 Years Ago Tonight posted at River of Jordan, saying, "This might not be what you were thinking of for this carnival, but I think it does have something to do with relationships--between parents and children. Thanks for running this carnival! I know how much work it is yet also how much fun! Can't wait to read it!"

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of disability blog carnival using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Technorati tags: disability blog carnival, blog carnival.

Another Way to Play the Game

2009-07-26T01:49:00.001-06:00

What do Duke Nukem 3D and cats have in common? A lot if you're a child playing video games unconventionally. When I was about ten years old and obsessed with cats, I used to roam the world of Duke Nukem pretending to be a city cat. My favourite place in the game was the window in the apartment where I could sit and watch the city.

I don't know if this is an Asperger's trait or not, but I hardly ever played (and still don't play) video games conventionally. For instance, my Sims have elaborate back stories and do things that are impossible in the game. In adventure games, I enjoy exploring the world and collecting things more so than the game story. When I was a child I used to randomly explore the world of point and click adventure games such as Kyrandia and King's Quest, often making up my own stories to go along with what I was doing.

Has anyone with a child with Asperger's syndrome or NLD had any experience with this?

Can't Have One Without The Other

2009-07-19T18:02:00.002-06:00

A recent newspaper discussion talked about creativity and disorders such as bipolar and schizophrenia being on the same gene. The article basically states that mild forms expression result in highly creative, intelligent people and that the gene survived evolution-wise because it is beneficial for progression of society to have people who "think outside the box."

I wonder if the same can be said for autism spectrum disorders. There appears to be a higher rate of Asperger-like traits in certain professions such as computer programmers and university professors.

Severe forms of any of these conditions can be extremely debilitating, but I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to eliminate the gene for autism because I'm not sure what else it might destroy.

There was a case in a certain African village where they killed off most of the mosquito population due to malaria. Shortly after, people's roofs began falling down. It turned out that the mosquito was a predator of another insect that ate straw.

That Child Needs a Good Smack

2009-06-26T12:17:00.001-06:00

It’s the middle of a birthday party and a six-year-old girl is lying on the floor crying because her balloon popped. The other children go off to play games, the little girl remains on the floor screaming. The host of the party drags her to another room and closes the door. She continues to scream for the party. When she gets home, she gets in trouble, but she still doesn’t really grasp that there is a difference between crying briefly when a favourite toy breaks and ruining a birthday party. That six-year-old has Asperger Syndrome. That little girl was me in grade one.

Tantrums, sensation seeking behaviour, getting stuck on a topic and arguing it, taking things literally, and many other problem child behaviours are escalated with Asperger syndrome. Parents may be frustrated that their preteen cannot sit still in a restaurant to eat their dinner or handle their knife and fork right. Their elementary school child may not be able to get through a trip to the supermarket without a tantrum.

These behaviours are very difficult for parents to deal with, and can also disrupt others in a public place. Often well meaning people believe more discipline will magically cure the child of their Asperger Syndrome. (e.g. “If I had that child for one week, she’d be a different child).”

I do not believe AS is an excuse for bad behaviour. I’m glad my parents pushed me to learn appropriate social skills and set high expectations for me. These children have to learn that some behaviours are inappropriate and sometimes that means consequences. Consequences will vary depending on the situation and the family’s values. It always means a detailed explanation of why a certain behaviour is unacceptable. Reward systems such as sticker charts often work well with children with AS too. My parents used them with me as a child and I have also seen them used in places I volunteered at.

Besides discipline, explanations, and rewards, enlisting help of professionals is also essential in helping children with AS develop to their full potential.

Medication and the Autism Spectrum

2009-06-23T13:43:00.002-06:00

Recent developments in medication (by recent I mean the last few decades) have resulted in many individuals with Asperger Syndrome and other related disorders gaining some control over symptoms such as meltdowns, thus allowing for increased independence and quality of life. Unfortunately, medications come with some side effects. The media does an especially good job of pointing these out.

I believein the lowest effective dose possible. Often exercise, relaxation, and dietary supplements like omega 3s can reduce the dosage of medication needed. For instance, exercise encourages the brain to naturally release chemicals such as serotonin.

Also, some side effects can be managed. For instance the popular drug risperdol may lead to increased appetite, but that can be controlled by eating low calorie foods when an individual has the urge to eat more than usual.

It is always a balance between having the lowest risks possible and the best possible quality of life. For instance an individual with Asperger Syndrome that is “medication free” but having public meltdowns is not acceptable, nor is an individual who is on such a high dose of medications that the side effects have serious impact on their quality of life. Also, in some cases, individuals may experience a side effect with a particular medication that is unbearable (e.g. development of severe tics with Dexedrine, but that does not mean that all medications are unsuitable for them). Some individuals with AS may do well without medication using other management techniques. It is a very individual issue in which the pros and cons should be discussed with a medical professional, preferably a psychiatrist.

Autism Services: Making the Grade for Schooling and Employment

2009-06-19T08:34:00.001-06:00

I originally started this post as a comment on a facebook group, but I decided it was good enough to post on my blog. I find there are more services for children with AS than adults. Still, our province (Alberta) has some good programs for adults such as AISH (a disability system separate from welfare where individuals with disabilities who are unable to work full time can receive assistance and still earn some additional income). They also have employment training services such as onsite placement that works with people with disabilities in finding employment (including helping place those with university degrees in a program appropriate to their education). I would like to see more services specifically for high functioning adults on the spectrum though such as friendship or social skills groups. I would especially like to see services specific to university students and professionals with Asperger Syndrome as they are a growing group.

Alberta has some excellent children’s autism programs ranging from autism specific classrooms (often with the goal to integrate children back into mainstream classrooms by junior high school), social skills and early intervention groups provided by places such as the Glenrose rehabilitation hospital, and others. However, some parents are still concerned (as I mentioned in an earlier post and I tend to agree with this) that some of the services are too cookie-cutter to meet a child’s specific needs as every child on the spectrum is different. Also, it may be difficult to integrate a child who has been in a special education setting for years back into a mainstream classroom. For instance, a student with average to above average intellect may not receive academics appropriate to their intelligence level in a special education classroom even if the desperately need the help with communication or social skills. Also, an autism spectrum specific classroom may not necessarily address a child’s other potential challenges such as if they have a learning or physical disability in addition to being on the autism spectrum.

I would like to close by saying Alberta has better services than most of the provinces in the country and that some families move here specifically for autism services. However, like everywhere, there is still room for improvement.

Age Appropriate Protection

2009-06-16T14:34:00.000-06:00

Individuals on the spectrum often need more support than their typical aged peers. For instance, I was 15 before I was allowed to ride my bike downtown because of getting lost easily. I knew of this limitation so I didn’t complain about being restricted. I lived in the same town for ten years, and it was only in my last year there (age 15-16), I began learning my way around it outside of my neighbourhood. I still had to ask for directions a lot.

People with Asperger Syndrome often have trouble with finding their way around places, coordination and spatial awareness, can be overly trusting of strangers, and can get very upset when frightened or in a meltdown state. With teens an young adults with AS, they want to have freedom as much as possible. However, unlike disabilities that affect intelligence/cognition, individuals with AS often know their own limitations. For instance, I know that due to my issues with depth perception and startling easily, I will be unable to drive in Edmonton. I might be able to learn with a lot of work in a small town.

Parents have to find a balance between encouraging their child or young adult to be independent or keeping them safe. For instance “Is it safe for Ryan to take the bus by himself to high school since there is a transfer in the middle?” Also, as individuals with AS grow older, parents and those that know them should help them be aware of their own limitations so when they live independently someday they can make judgements for themselves

Special Interests

2009-06-14T12:24:00.001-06:00

I was the child who spent hours trying to teach my cats tricks (including how to read). I had an old bathtub full of frogs in my backyard and raised tadpoles every spring. I was also the little girl who came running home from the neighbours’ with a big snake by the tail that I wanted to keep for a pet. Strangers listened patiently as I talked excessively about these topics.

Over my life, I have had various special interests (I’m still an animal nut) ranging from buildings and structures (especially New York’s former World Trade Center and Toronto’s CN tower), the solar system, brain disorders, and psychology. I remember odd obscure facts such as how long it takes each planet to go around the sun (e.g. 248 years for Pluto) and the heights of some of the towers (e.g the WTCs were 1,362 and 1,368 feet).

I think this goes well with my earlier post on hyper focus as special interests are triggers for hyper focus. I could spend hours searching the internet for cats or planets as a child. Now, I get very involved in my psychology research, creative writing, and video games.

I think special interests add some enrichment to an individual’s life as long as they don’t completely exclude other topics of conversation or interacting with people. Sometimes, as in Temple Grandin’s obsession with cattle chutes, they can even lead to a lifelong career.

I'm Not Here

2009-05-31T14:19:00.001-06:00

One unique tendency of Asperger Syndrome is the ability to hyper-focus on tasks that one has an intense interest in, often to the point of being unaware of what Is going on around you. I tend to hyperfocus on creative writing, working on my psychology research, and playing simulation games. If anyone talks to me during these times, they usually have to speak to me two or three times to get an answer. It’s not that I’m being rude, it’s just that my mind is fully engaged in the task.

This trait can lead to increased productivity and keep an individual from engaging in distractions if the task is work-related. However, in some instances, it can lead to people with ASD neglecting things such as self-care, social interaction, or household tasks. It could also create difficulty in an employment situation where someone was required to frequently shift their focus.

Hyper focusing: Blessing or curse? Add your comments.

Media Mania

2009-05-26T18:51:00.002-06:00

When the media discusses any medical issue, it of often prone to show one side of the story or present an extreme viewpoint. This is just as true with Autism Spectrum Disorders as it is with any other condition. This can be anything from presenting an individual with a very extreme or exceptional case of a condition as the norm to exaggerating the side effects or benefits of medication or therapies. Also when someone with a condition commits a crime or carries out a heroic act, the focus is often on their condition rather than the behaviour. This is also true of much of the information found on websites, blogs and forums.

If you are looking for information about Asperger Syndrome and/or therapies, I recommend that you either ask a medical professional, or search for information in academic/peer-reviewed journals such as the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disabilities.

There is a lot of garbage out there. I do not want to point out specific examples because I do not like to target individuals on this blog, but I will say I have seen a lot of it in my searches for AS on the internet and in some of the stuff presented on the evening news. With websites like facebook, where videos and articles can be posted with a click of a button, sensationalized articles and videos spread fast.

I can answer questions based on personal experience and what worked for me. However, I am not a healthcare professional or expert in the field, only an undergraduate psychology student with Asperger Syndrome. Still feel free to email me with questions about my own experiences.

The Animal Song

2009-05-22T02:29:00.006-06:00

Throughout my life, I have always found I related very well to animals. I spent much of my childhood playing with my cats, and catching frogs and snakes. I had an especially close connection with my first cat Clide. I would have long one-sided conversations with him, he followed me everywhere around the neighbourhood, and slept in my bed every night.

Some other individuals with AS I have talked to have also felt this incredibly close connection to animals. As many individuals with AS have difficulty understanding and interpreting the emotions of others, it may be easier to interact socially with animals because the emotions and motives of animals are simpler and easier to interpret than those of humans. Animals live very much in the moment and display the exact emotions they are thinking. There is no deception or hidden meanings.

From reading Temple Grandin’s biography, it was apparent that she was able to emphasize with the fear that cattle experience when being processed for meat. She was also able to use this empathy to be able to change this process to make it more humane for the animals involved.

Temple Grandin even goes as far as to say that autistic though process may be similar to that of animals (e.g. simpler emotions and thinking in pictures and the lack of theory of mind). However, not all individuals on the spectrum think in pictures. Many individuals with Asperger Syndrome have higher verbal than spatial skills. Also, higher functioning individuals on the spectrum usually develop theory of mind, just at a much later age than typically developing children. There was also one study with dogs that suggested that dogs may have limited theory of mind abilities (e.g. be jealous of another dog receiving food for a trick). It is difficult to compare the thought processes of different species due to the dangers of either anthropromorphism or under or overestimating animal abilities.

With Eva, it is only the pure desire to be together and enjoy each other’s company. We share a language without words.

Research Priorities and Controversy

2009-05-18T14:16:00.002-06:00

Services for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders is a neglected area in many countries, including Canada. For instance, the Canadian government will not help parents fund Applied Behaviour Analysis for children with autism. More funding is also needed for research into therapies such as medication, diet, relaxation techniques etc.

A lot of controversy exists over what are appropriate therapies for children on the spectrum. I, and many other people have mixed feelings about genetic research and autism spectrum disorders for fears it may lead to selective abortion or changing a child's entire genetic makeup to the point where the individual is no longer recognizable. I also believe that even if vaccines trigger autism in a small group of genetically predisposed children, that the benefits of vaccines far outweigh the risks. I'd personally rather have a child with autism than one die of a preventable disease.

I am most in favour of therapies that allow a child to adapt and compensate for the symptoms of autism. One really innovative invention was the squeeze machine by Temple Grandin. This provides deep pressure to help provide relief for sensory symptoms. I also believe there needs to be more research into communication methods for individuals on the spectrum that are non-verbal (for instance what would be the best augmentative communication system for a child with severe autism who cannot process multiple senses at one time?). I also have an interest in research into coping methods for sensory overloads and meltdowns.

I think that is why my primary interest is educational psychology rather than medicine or genetics. Most of the autism therapies I'm interested in would be best conducted in an educational setting.

Aspies on the Job

2009-05-13T19:48:00.001-06:00

Imagine a job description that said “Wanted: Person with intense ability to focus combined with passion for particular subject matter, strong ability to pay attention to detail and good memory skills.

Although it is more difficult for individuals with Asperger Syndrome to find work than people in the general population, there are jobs out there that capitalize on the strengths that many people with AS have.

One young man had a strong interest in his city’s transit system and had an excellent memory for all the routes in the city. He was able to use this passion and strength to help thousands of people in his city plan their routes to their destination and he loved his job. He was even able to purchase better living arrangements for his family.

Temple Grandin’s strong visualization abilities along with an intense interest in Cattle Chutes led to a PhD in animal science and her becoming a world renowned expert on humane treatment of cattle being processed for food.

I’m optimistic that my strong memory, good writing skills, creativity for research ideas, attention to detail, and strong interest in children with special needs will allow me to be successful as a future researcher in educational psychology.

It may take longer and harder for individuals with AS to find their place in the world, but the wait is worth it.

Mom

2009-05-11T01:15:00.004-06:00

Note: This post was intended to be posted yesterday, but with all the excitement over the third dog (now named Annie) coming home, this post got delayed until today.

When I was a child, I had social contacts on and off, but it was my Mom who was my consistent best friend, playing pretend with me, practicing social scenarios, listening to my endless chatter, and holding me when I cried. I took extra time than most typically developing children and still require more time than most people my age, but rather than complaining about it, my Mom enjoys every minute of it.

Now as I young adult, I am very happy with my life as a busy university student. However, I still have few outside social contacts. Some of this is due to my Asperger Syndrome and some of it is probably due to my family’s frequent moving. We are a very close-knit family unit which doesn’t do much outside socialization.

I am posting this to thank my Mom for being my best friend throughout my entire life. Happy Belated Mother’s Day.

I also want to thank my grandmother who is watching over me from heaven for being my second Mom, and my other wonderful grandmother who lives around the corner and takes great joy in me.

The "C-word:" Conformity and ASD

2009-05-09T09:51:00.002-06:00

Individuals with ASD (and/or other developmental disabilities) may be at different developmental ages in different areas. For instance, an adolescent with AS may still be interested in playing with their matchbox cars but also have a strong interest in international politics. One difficult choice for parents and educators is deciding when to make an individual with a disability conform versus letting them be themselves.

Obviously, it is not a good idea for a teenager to bring their stuffed animal to work, but there is also the other extreme of taking conformity to where it limits the individual's rights. For instance, one of my online friends had a young adult son with multiple disabilities. When he had to spend some time in a group home, he was unable to bring his toys because they wanted him to do "adult things." This young man wasn't at a developmental level where he could enjoy adult activities (e.g. understand television). Therefore, he was left being bored most of the time.

As a teenager, I still had a lot of younger interests such as playing imagination games, dressed in my own style (often oversized clothes that clashed), and talked about topics that weren't typical of teenage conversations (e.g. cats, tall buildings and structures, brain disorders). What my parents did is they allowed my home to be my mecca where I could be myself (e.g. play pretend, dress how I wanted etc.) and encouraged a compromise of conformity in public (e..g choosing socially acceptable clothes that were still comfortable for my sensory issues and discouraging things that would signal me out such as toys in public).

Now, at 23, I try to keep a good, non-Asperger flow of conversation in university, dress decently (even if not the latest style), and even engage in some small-talk with classmates. Home still remains my place to do as I please.

Rightly or wrongly, conformity will remain a part of being accepted into mainstream society. Therefore there are places individuals with AS must conform, but there must also be places where they can be their Asperger-self without retribution.

Autism Spectrum and NLD website roundup

2009-05-05T13:45:00.002-06:00

I have a lot of links on this blog to websites of individuals with various disabilities. However, only a few of those links are websites of individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders and/or NLD. If anybody has a blog or website in this category, post your link here as a comment.

Nightwalkers

2009-05-05T13:23:00.001-06:00

I have heard that irregular sleep cycles are common in autism spectrum disorders (ASDs). Myself, I’m a natural born night owl. When left to my own devices during vacation, I’m prone to stay up until four in the morning and sleep until three in the afternoon. I also find that when I go to bed, it takes me half hour to an hour to fall asleep.

My doctor recommended melatonin, which I find useful for regulating my sleep cycles during the school year. I learned in psychology that it is not a “sleeping pill” that will work for anyone, but is best used when one’s body doesn’t naturally produce enough melatonin in response to the lighting changes. This is true in blind people and people on the spectrum. I have also heard conflicting reports about whether melatonin is effective for shift workers who are trying to transition between day and night shifts.

Do any other Aspies reading this blog struggle with irregular sleep patterns?

That Was Then This is Now

2009-05-04T22:30:00.004-06:00

One of the common questions I get asked when I tell parents of newly diagnosed children that I have AS, is “what were you like at my child’s age?”

Every individual on the spectrum is different and how symptoms present in early childhood doesn’t always predict adult outcome. For instance, I’ve heard of cases of children who didn’t speak until they were seven who grew up do be doctors, and individuals who were reading at age one who didn’t progress much beyond when they were in preschool. I’ve read from the literature that language development by age 5 usually means a more favourable outcome.

What was I like as a child?

6 months –beginning to say single words. Dad noticed as a baby that I would not regularly track faces.

14 months-speaking in full sentences. My first obsession was plugs and I’d say “don’t go near the dangerous plugs.”

Preschooler-Advanced vocabulary for my age, frequent temper tantrums, clumsy, started to reject being hugged or touched by most people, still did not make eye contact. I engaged in imaginary and organizational play. Sometimes I liked to sort my toys, other times I liked to play pretend.

Elementary school –At age six I showed a 40 point discrepancy between my verbal and performance IQ (performance in the borderline range, verbal in the high average range). I stated attending OT at age 8 and was beginning to learn to make eye contact. I still developed strong interests in particular topics. For instance, at age 9, I would approach strangers in the park and interview them about their cats. I showed strength in my creative writing and memory abilities from an early age.

Junior High and high school: tantrums and self-control were still somewhat of an issue. I still enjoyed imaginary play. My strengths in academics remained although I needed additional time for math exams and often used a computer to type essays due to motor issues. Gym class was a challenge for me due to coordination issues (particularly perception and kinesis of motion). I began regularly making eye contact. I won several awards for poetry , essays, and public speaking.

Young adult/now: I no longer have tantrums due to appropriate medical and psychological intervention. My social and conversation skills continue to develop. As of a few years ago, I learned to read negative facial expressions. I excel in most courses other than calculus and chemistry. I enjoy creative writing, simulation games, swinging, trampolining, blogging, my psychology courses, and spending time with my family and animals. I am currently unable to drive due to perceptual and processing issues. My parents and professionals believe that I will eventually find successful employment in a knowledge-based position that capitalizes on my strengths. I am very excited to be involved in a psychology research project this year and have future dreams of going to graduate school to be a researcher.

Note: The photo above is of me at age 10 with our cat, Checker. Checker is now almost 14 years old.

The Church of the Aspies

2009-05-04T01:59:00.005-06:00

With the need for everything to be literal and logical, religion is a complex issue for those with ASD.

As a child and adolescent, I was very literal with religion. I constantly worried about eternal punishment and that I or someone else I knew might do something to displease God. I was also bothered by the conflicts between what I learned in history class and what was in the Bible.

As a young adult, I discovered Universalism which is based on many of the original Christian beliefs and seems to make a lot more logical sense to me. I still retain a strong relationship with God, but I have lost that feeling of fear.

I tend to combine aspects of what I learned as scientific facts with religion, for instance seeing evolution like a complex AI program, and believing in heaven as an alternate dimension that will exist beyond the finite lifespan of the universe.

I have come to let go of much of my rigidity with religion and to be respectful of all beliefs (or lack of belief). I have come to accept it all under the Universalist teaching that all mortal beings will eventually be returned to God, regardless of their beliefs.

I am not posting this to engage in a debate about the correctness or incorrectness of my own religious beliefs. I know online debates on religion can get pretty heated. Comments are moderated as always and personal attacks will be deleted. However, I am interested in comments on how other individuals with AS have dealt with the issue of religion with regards to their unique thought processes.

Blogging Against Disablism 2009: Stereotype of Success

2009-05-01T01:35:00.002-06:00

When most people think of success, the picture of a rich individual with a large social network comes to mind. When using the above definition, there is little thought into what success is for each individual, it is more of a "one size fits all model."

Our global community is composed of many unique individuals of varying abilities. Not all of us will achieve "success" as defined by the stereotypical definition. However, I believe we are all capable of achieving "success" in creating a life in which we can enjoy each day and take pride in each of our accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

In the case of an individual with severe disabilities, that success may be the feeling of satisfaction they feel when they first gain control of some aspect of their environment (e.g. discovering that smiling attracts the attention of others). Individuals in this category will miss out on many "normal" experiences but can still lead a happy life of individual success when provided with the right environment.

For those with mild and moderate disabilities, this success may be independence in some areas, while still requiring assistance in others. For instance a person with a mild cognitive disability may be able to hold down a part-time job and manage an apartment but need help managing their finances. A young adult (like myself) with Asperger Syndrome may thrive in academic situations but need extra coaching in particular social situations.

I think what needs to be discarded is the model that everyone must have a similar lifestyle in order to be successful. it is perfectly fine to be frustrated with things that I have difficult achieving, but that it is a waste of thought to want something just because somebody else has it. For instance, a lot of my classmates had big celebrations with friends when they graduated from high school. I was happy with a quiet barbeque with my family. I hate nightclubs and large groups of people so why should I worry about wanting to be like everyone else when I don't want to be in that sense.

I think success is reaching one's full potential and finding a life they are happy with, regardless of what's "normal" or expected.

New Autism Theory?

2009-04-07T21:27:00.006-06:00

A US university has proposed a new theory on autism. There is a news article about it here. In short, the article discusses how a region of the brain stem responsible for sensory regulation may be malfunctioning (the locus coeruleus system), despite being structurally normal. The authors based this theory on the fact that some individuals with ASD function at a higher level when they have a fever (which this brain region is also responsible for regulating).

I think futher research on this brain region may lead to relief for sensory symptoms in some individuals with ASD. Inability to regulate sensory information is one theory of the cause of many of autism's impairments. Allowing normal regulation of these signals may allow some individuals with ASD to function at a higher level.

However, I would be hesitant to put one brain region as the primary cause of autism. Subtle structural abnormalities have been found in other regions of the brain of many individuals with ASD (e.g. the cerebellum, the corpus callosum). There are also many factors that can contribute to autism ranging including genetics, birth trauma, premature birth, and many more. I don't think regulation of this one area of the brain would be a cure-all.

Still, it's interesting to read the latest research.

When I "Grow Up"

2009-04-05T01:14:00.003-06:00

As a young child, I spent hours catching frogs and playing with barn kittens. I dreamed of being a veterinarian. After job shadowing in a vet clinic, realizing how complicated the procedures were, becoming aware of my coordination difficulties, and having to drop physics, I realized I was not going to be a vet.

Back in high school, when we took those career tests that the guidance counsellor makes everyone take, it was suggested that I be a researcher. I never gave much thought to it at the time. However, I loved all my psychology courses in university, and am also blessed with an exceptional memory and an intense ability to focus on and become interested in certain topics.

For the first two and a half years of my university, I was enrolled in the education program. However, I learned that my strenghts were more suited to working with children in 1:1 settings rather than large groups. Also, my interest in research in psychology continued to grow.

I ran into a few obstacles in psychology: onset of anxiety, struggling to pass calculus, and deciding whether to take the Arts or Science route, but my end goal remained the same. I want to be a researcher in educational psychology, special education.

This year, due to the many twists and turns that life has thrown me, I am still an undergraduate, but I am doing my first research project with an excellent supervisor who understands my strengths and weaknesses and is willing to take the extra time to give me the chance to succeed.

As a future researcher, I will most likely someday also be teaching university classes. Therefore, I will get to fulfill my dream as both teacher and researcher. I know from the excellent professors I have at MacEwan that good teachers are not just necessary for children. Maybe I will even get the chance to be an influence in the life of a young person with Asperger syndrome like myself.

Grieving and ASD

2009-03-20T00:08:00.001-06:00

Over the last week, I've returned to my daily workout routine of jumping on my trampoline, managed to reclaim excitement over psychology and in my creative writing, and am sleeping properly at night. Today, as I was working on my psychology research paper with intense focus and interest, I realized that I felt almost normal again.

I will never forget my grandmother and the love and joy she brought our family. She was a second mother to me as I was the little girl she never got to have. However, I have my whole life on earth ahead of me and must live it to the fullest. I'm sure that that is what she wants for me.

It is often said that individuals with autism spectrum disorders experience emotions differently, including grief. I would say that we definitely express our emotions differently. For instance, I am more likely to use words than a physical gesture to offer affection or comfort. I also sometimes need to be told what somebody is feeling in order for me to be able to emphasize with them. I won't always pick it up by "reading them." I'm getting much better at that.

I'm wondering if anyone else on the spectrum has had experience with losing a family member and how they have coped. If so, post a response to this post.

What Should They Do?

2009-03-14T01:31:00.001-06:00

My recent post on educators and psychology was submitted as an assignment for my History of Psychology course. My professor wrote a comment on my essay asking how professional development can make sure teachers are up to date on the latest educational research. This inspired me to write this post.

I think one of the first steps would be research information available to teachers in laymen's terms. Most teachers do not have access to academic journals or the training in statistics to interpret studies. Maybe a national education research database should be available online and all persons working in education professions should be given free access. This would be a much more comprehensive range of topics than what could be covered in issues of a print journal intended for teachers. The database would provide summaries of developments in research that pertain to education including but not limited to: classroom management, inclusive education, and teaching methods for students of all ability levels.

I also believe academics who do research in psychology (particularly educational psychology) should provide seminars to teachers that they are required to attend as part of their professional development. There teachers could have direct interaction with recent researchers in their field. We need to bring researchers to the teachers in the classrooms as well as those still attending university.

An Incomplete Solution: Another Education Rant

2009-03-10T15:51:00.001-06:00

In the late 1950s, psychologist R. W. Russell listed several ways in which the discipline of psychology could improve the education system. Suggestions for psychologists included playing an active role in teacher training, communicating with teachers, and making results of educational research accessible to teachers through public journals. More than half a century later, psychology has only accomplished a portion of these goals.

When education students attend university, psychology is deeply embedded into the curriculum. Students are required to take several psychology courses prior to being accepted into the education program. If a student has a special education minor, additional psychology courses such as brain and behavior or abnormal psychology are required. Once in the program, the curriculum for education students includes various classes in educational psychology and classroom management. The current problem is that connection with psychology ceases when these students graduate.

Researchers in educational psychology are constantly making new discoveries that will better improve the classroom environment for students. Despite continuing education courses, much of this information remains in glossy academic journals: inaccessible to the average classroom teacher. For instance, the J.P. Das Developmental Disabilities Centre at the University of Alberta was familiar with the technique of using photographs or 3D representations for non-verbal students with profound cognitive impairments. These students were unable to use the traditional communication devices such as the picture exchange system (PECS) due to lack of ability to interpret symbols. Unfortunately, in my experiences of volunteering and observing in various educational settings in Edmonton, I found very few educators to be familiar with these alternative methods.

Lack of access to new research is not the only way in which psychology connections are severed once classroom teachers leave university. The problem also exists of there being no backup if a teacher faces a situation that falls outside of the training they received in their classes. For instance, some teachers completed their education degrees prior to courses on exceptional students being required as part of the curriculum. If one of those teachers ends up having several students with IEPs in their class, they are required to adapt to this situation almost independently. This lack of follow-up support may cause some older teachers to handle problems in ways that would have been acceptable when they first started teaching, but are inappropriate in the current education system. For instance, a teacher may believe that publically announcing the test score of a low-achieving student may motivate him to do better.

There is also increasing concern about people with no experience in education being in charge of educational programs. For instance, the minister of education in Nova Scotia tried to take on the ideal of equal education for all: almost all students doing the same material. Unfortunately, it resulted in a program that was too difficult for low-achieving students, and did not prepare high-achieving students for university. When I transferred to Alberta, I had to repeat most of my grade eleven courses because they did not meet the requirements for entrance to university in Alberta. The state of Georgia took this idea even further. One special education teacher blogger wrote of students functioning on the level of one-year-olds being given official grade twelve diplomas by completing modified tasks that were supposed to indicate they were at "grade level."

Psychology is an integrate part of today's education student curriculum. However, once educators leave school and venture into the classroom, psychology does not follow them. Even worse is the fact that some individuals placed in high positions of power in the education system have never taken an educational psychology course. In order for psychology to contribute more to the education system, psychologists and researchers must remain in contact with educators, not just for their time in university, but throughout their entire teaching career.

Alex Again

2009-02-11T19:03:00.007-07:00

Remember Alex Barton, the 5-year-old with Asperger syndrome who was "voted out" of his class by his peers on the suggestion of the teacher. There is an follow-up article to this case here. The teacher is attempting to defend her poor choice by stating it was a "learning oppertunity."

I still find the story as disgusting as when I first read it. I wasn't the most easy child to deal with in kindergarten either (having temper tantrums and making my teacher's aide chase me down the hall). I did need expectations for behavior placed on me, but there is a difference between teaching a child appropriate social behavior and child abuse such as what was done to Alex.

This story also made me angry because I know many people (both online and offline) who have children with similar special needs to Alex. I know this could have just as easily been me as a child (not to say I didn't go through enough including cases where teachers openly encouraged bullying in attempts to correct some of my problems) or one of these children I spoke of above.

Nanny 1926-2009

2009-01-31T17:10:00.005-07:00

My wonderful and loving grandmother left this world early this morning after a short battle with cancer. She moved in with my family in 1985, shortly after I was born and was like a second mother to my brother and I. Due to my Asperger syndrome, I always had difficulty in daycare but Nanny always knew what to do.

I have fond memories of her building a sandbox for my brother and me, teaching me to hop, playing dolls with me, reading bedtime stories, letting me crawl in her bed at night, listening to me talk on the long nights when Mom worked, and taking great pride in all my accomplishments.
She will be greatly missed and will forever be watching over me.

A Loved One's Message

Go on and finish
I am at the end of your journey
Think about me But smile when you do
I am not gone Just absent from this dimension.
I still exist
I now know only what is good
Where I am
I can still feel the warmth of the sun
I can still feel the grass under my feet
I can still see you
And your love
But you can’t still see me
But you can still feel my love
Love is one sense that is interdimensional
Even when all other five senses can’t open the door
Love is the sixth and it can open any door
But maybe it’s best to forget that I’m gone
When comparing the short time we spend on earth
To eternal living where I am
It won’t be long before we’re together again.
Remember this and you won’t be sad
Go ahead and explore the world
Live a wonderful life.
I am right there ahead of you
Waiting for you when you finish