I'm Not Here

One unique tendency of Asperger Syndrome is the ability to hyper-focus on tasks that one has an intense interest in, often to the point of being unaware of what Is going on around you. I tend to hyperfocus on creative writing, working on my psychology research, and playing simulation games. If anyone talks to me during these times, they usually have to speak to me two or three times to get an answer. It’s not that I’m being rude, it’s just that my mind is fully engaged in the task.

This trait can lead to increased productivity and keep an individual from engaging in distractions if the task is work-related. However, in some instances, it can lead to people with ASD neglecting things such as self-care, social interaction, or household tasks. It could also create difficulty in an employment situation where someone was required to frequently shift their focus.

Hyper focusing: Blessing or curse? Add your comments.

Media Mania

When the media discusses any medical issue, it of often prone to show one side of the story or present an extreme viewpoint. This is just as true with Autism Spectrum Disorders as it is with any other condition. This can be anything from presenting an individual with a very extreme or exceptional case of a condition as the norm to exaggerating the side effects or benefits of medication or therapies. Also when someone with a condition commits a crime or carries out a heroic act, the focus is often on their condition rather than the behaviour. This is also true of much of the information found on websites, blogs and forums.

If you are looking for information about Asperger Syndrome and/or therapies, I recommend that you either ask a medical professional, or search for information in academic/peer-reviewed journals such as the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disabilities.

There is a lot of garbage out there. I do not want to point out specific examples because I do not like to target individuals on this blog, but I will say I have seen a lot of it in my searches for AS on the internet and in some of the stuff presented on the evening news. With websites like facebook, where videos and articles can be posted with a click of a button, sensationalized articles and videos spread fast.

I can answer questions based on personal experience and what worked for me. However, I am not a healthcare professional or expert in the field, only an undergraduate psychology student with Asperger Syndrome. Still feel free to email me with questions about my own experiences.

The Animal Song

Throughout my life, I have always found I related very well to animals. I spent much of my childhood playing with my cats, and catching frogs and snakes. I had an especially close connection with my first cat Clide. I would have long one-sided conversations with him, he followed me everywhere around the neighbourhood, and slept in my bed every night.

Some other individuals with AS I have talked to have also felt this incredibly close connection to animals. As many individuals with AS have difficulty understanding and interpreting the emotions of others, it may be easier to interact socially with animals because the emotions and motives of animals are simpler and easier to interpret than those of humans. Animals live very much in the moment and display the exact emotions they are thinking. There is no deception or hidden meanings.

From reading Temple Grandin’s biography, it was apparent that she was able to emphasize with the fear that cattle experience when being processed for meat. She was also able to use this empathy to be able to change this process to make it more humane for the animals involved.

Temple Grandin even goes as far as to say that autistic though process may be similar to that of animals (e.g. simpler emotions and thinking in pictures and the lack of theory of mind). However, not all individuals on the spectrum think in pictures. Many individuals with Asperger Syndrome have higher verbal than spatial skills. Also, higher functioning individuals on the spectrum usually develop theory of mind, just at a much later age than typically developing children. There was also one study with dogs that suggested that dogs may have limited theory of mind abilities (e.g. be jealous of another dog receiving food for a trick). It is difficult to compare the thought processes of different species due to the dangers of either anthropromorphism or under or overestimating animal abilities.

With Eva, it is only the pure desire to be together and enjoy each other’s company. We share a language without words.

Research Priorities and Controversy

Services for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders is a neglected area in many countries, including Canada. For instance, the Canadian government will not help parents fund Applied Behaviour Analysis for children with autism. More funding is also needed for research into therapies such as medication, diet, relaxation techniques etc.

A lot of controversy exists over what are appropriate therapies for children on the spectrum. I, and many other people have mixed feelings about genetic research and autism spectrum disorders for fears it may lead to selective abortion or changing a child's entire genetic makeup to the point where the individual is no longer recognizable. I also believe that even if vaccines trigger autism in a small group of genetically predisposed children, that the benefits of vaccines far outweigh the risks. I'd personally rather have a child with autism than one die of a preventable disease.

I am most in favour of therapies that allow a child to adapt and compensate for the symptoms of autism. One really innovative invention was the squeeze machine by Temple Grandin. This provides deep pressure to help provide relief for sensory symptoms. I also believe there needs to be more research into communication methods for individuals on the spectrum that are non-verbal (for instance what would be the best augmentative communication system for a child with severe autism who cannot process multiple senses at one time?). I also have an interest in research into coping methods for sensory overloads and meltdowns.

I think that is why my primary interest is educational psychology rather than medicine or genetics. Most of the autism therapies I'm interested in would be best conducted in an educational setting.

Aspies on the Job

Imagine a job description that said “Wanted: Person with intense ability to focus combined with passion for particular subject matter, strong ability to pay attention to detail and good memory skills.

Although it is more difficult for individuals with Asperger Syndrome to find work than people in the general population, there are jobs out there that capitalize on the strengths that many people with AS have.

One young man had a strong interest in his city’s transit system and had an excellent memory for all the routes in the city. He was able to use this passion and strength to help thousands of people in his city plan their routes to their destination and he loved his job. He was even able to purchase better living arrangements for his family.

Temple Grandin’s strong visualization abilities along with an intense interest in Cattle Chutes led to a PhD in animal science and her becoming a world renowned expert on humane treatment of cattle being processed for food.

I’m optimistic that my strong memory, good writing skills, creativity for research ideas, attention to detail, and strong interest in children with special needs will allow me to be successful as a future researcher in educational psychology.

It may take longer and harder for individuals with AS to find their place in the world, but the wait is worth it.

Mom

Note: This post was intended to be posted yesterday, but with all the excitement over the third dog (now named Annie) coming home, this post got delayed until today.

When I was a child, I had social contacts on and off, but it was my Mom who was my consistent best friend, playing pretend with me, practicing social scenarios, listening to my endless chatter, and holding me when I cried. I took extra time than most typically developing children and still require more time than most people my age, but rather than complaining about it, my Mom enjoys every minute of it.

Now as I young adult, I am very happy with my life as a busy university student. However, I still have few outside social contacts. Some of this is due to my Asperger Syndrome and some of it is probably due to my family’s frequent moving. We are a very close-knit family unit which doesn’t do much outside socialization.

I am posting this to thank my Mom for being my best friend throughout my entire life. Happy Belated Mother’s Day.

I also want to thank my grandmother who is watching over me from heaven for being my second Mom, and my other wonderful grandmother who lives around the corner and takes great joy in me.

The "C-word:" Conformity and ASD

Individuals with ASD (and/or other developmental disabilities) may be at different developmental ages in different areas. For instance, an adolescent with AS may still be interested in playing with their matchbox cars but also have a strong interest in international politics. One difficult choice for parents and educators is deciding when to make an individual with a disability conform versus letting them be themselves.

Obviously, it is not a good idea for a teenager to bring their stuffed animal to work, but there is also the other extreme of taking conformity to where it limits the individual's rights. For instance, one of my online friends had a young adult son with multiple disabilities. When he had to spend some time in a group home, he was unable to bring his toys because they wanted him to do "adult things." This young man wasn't at a developmental level where he could enjoy adult activities (e.g. understand television). Therefore, he was left being bored most of the time.

As a teenager, I still had a lot of younger interests such as playing imagination games, dressed in my own style (often oversized clothes that clashed), and talked about topics that weren't typical of teenage conversations (e.g. cats, tall buildings and structures, brain disorders). What my parents did is they allowed my home to be my mecca where I could be myself (e.g. play pretend, dress how I wanted etc.) and encouraged a compromise of conformity in public (e..g choosing socially acceptable clothes that were still comfortable for my sensory issues and discouraging things that would signal me out such as toys in public).

Now, at 23, I try to keep a good, non-Asperger flow of conversation in university, dress decently (even if not the latest style), and even engage in some small-talk with classmates. Home still remains my place to do as I please.

Rightly or wrongly, conformity will remain a part of being accepted into mainstream society. Therefore there are places individuals with AS must conform, but there must also be places where they can be their Asperger-self without retribution.

Autism Spectrum and NLD website roundup

I have a lot of links on this blog to websites of individuals with various disabilities. However, only a few of those links are websites of individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders and/or NLD. If anybody has a blog or website in this category, post your link here as a comment.

Nightwalkers

I have heard that irregular sleep cycles are common in autism spectrum disorders (ASDs). Myself, I’m a natural born night owl. When left to my own devices during vacation, I’m prone to stay up until four in the morning and sleep until three in the afternoon. I also find that when I go to bed, it takes me half hour to an hour to fall asleep.

My doctor recommended melatonin, which I find useful for regulating my sleep cycles during the school year. I learned in psychology that it is not a “sleeping pill” that will work for anyone, but is best used when one’s body doesn’t naturally produce enough melatonin in response to the lighting changes. This is true in blind people and people on the spectrum. I have also heard conflicting reports about whether melatonin is effective for shift workers who are trying to transition between day and night shifts.

Do any other Aspies reading this blog struggle with irregular sleep patterns?

That Was Then This is Now

One of the common questions I get asked when I tell parents of newly diagnosed children that I have AS, is “what were you like at my child’s age?”

Every individual on the spectrum is different and how symptoms present in early childhood doesn’t always predict adult outcome. For instance, I’ve heard of cases of children who didn’t speak until they were seven who grew up do be doctors, and individuals who were reading at age one who didn’t progress much beyond when they were in preschool. I’ve read from the literature that language development by age 5 usually means a more favourable outcome.

What was I like as a child?

6 months –beginning to say single words. Dad noticed as a baby that I would not regularly track faces.

14 months-speaking in full sentences. My first obsession was plugs and I’d say “don’t go near the dangerous plugs.”

Preschooler-Advanced vocabulary for my age, frequent temper tantrums, clumsy, started to reject being hugged or touched by most people, still did not make eye contact. I engaged in imaginary and organizational play. Sometimes I liked to sort my toys, other times I liked to play pretend.

Elementary school –At age six I showed a 40 point discrepancy between my verbal and performance IQ (performance in the borderline range, verbal in the high average range). I stated attending OT at age 8 and was beginning to learn to make eye contact. I still developed strong interests in particular topics. For instance, at age 9, I would approach strangers in the park and interview them about their cats. I showed strength in my creative writing and memory abilities from an early age.

Junior High and high school: tantrums and self-control were still somewhat of an issue. I still enjoyed imaginary play. My strengths in academics remained although I needed additional time for math exams and often used a computer to type essays due to motor issues. Gym class was a challenge for me due to coordination issues (particularly perception and kinesis of motion). I began regularly making eye contact. I won several awards for poetry , essays, and public speaking.

Young adult/now: I no longer have tantrums due to appropriate medical and psychological intervention. My social and conversation skills continue to develop. As of a few years ago, I learned to read negative facial expressions. I excel in most courses other than calculus and chemistry. I enjoy creative writing, simulation games, swinging, trampolining, blogging, my psychology courses, and spending time with my family and animals. I am currently unable to drive due to perceptual and processing issues. My parents and professionals believe that I will eventually find successful employment in a knowledge-based position that capitalizes on my strengths. I am very excited to be involved in a psychology research project this year and have future dreams of going to graduate school to be a researcher.

Note: The photo above is of me at age 10 with our cat, Checker. Checker is now almost 14 years old.

The Church of the Aspies

With the need for everything to be literal and logical, religion is a complex issue for those with ASD.

As a child and adolescent, I was very literal with religion. I constantly worried about eternal punishment and that I or someone else I knew might do something to displease God. I was also bothered by the conflicts between what I learned in history class and what was in the Bible.

As a young adult, I discovered Universalism which is based on many of the original Christian beliefs and seems to make a lot more logical sense to me. I still retain a strong relationship with God, but I have lost that feeling of fear.

I tend to combine aspects of what I learned as scientific facts with religion, for instance seeing evolution like a complex AI program, and believing in heaven as an alternate dimension that will exist beyond the finite lifespan of the universe.

I have come to let go of much of my rigidity with religion and to be respectful of all beliefs (or lack of belief). I have come to accept it all under the Universalist teaching that all mortal beings will eventually be returned to God, regardless of their beliefs.

I am not posting this to engage in a debate about the correctness or incorrectness of my own religious beliefs. I know online debates on religion can get pretty heated. Comments are moderated as always and personal attacks will be deleted. However, I am interested in comments on how other individuals with AS have dealt with the issue of religion with regards to their unique thought processes.

Blogging Against Disablism 2009: Stereotype of Success

When most people think of success, the picture of a rich individual with a large social network comes to mind. When using the above definition, there is little thought into what success is for each individual, it is more of a "one size fits all model."

Our global community is composed of many unique individuals of varying abilities. Not all of us will achieve "success" as defined by the stereotypical definition. However, I believe we are all capable of achieving "success" in creating a life in which we can enjoy each day and take pride in each of our accomplishments, no matter how big or small.

In the case of an individual with severe disabilities, that success may be the feeling of satisfaction they feel when they first gain control of some aspect of their environment (e.g. discovering that smiling attracts the attention of others). Individuals in this category will miss out on many "normal" experiences but can still lead a happy life of individual success when provided with the right environment.

For those with mild and moderate disabilities, this success may be independence in some areas, while still requiring assistance in others. For instance a person with a mild cognitive disability may be able to hold down a part-time job and manage an apartment but need help managing their finances. A young adult (like myself) with Asperger Syndrome may thrive in academic situations but need extra coaching in particular social situations.

I think what needs to be discarded is the model that everyone must have a similar lifestyle in order to be successful. it is perfectly fine to be frustrated with things that I have difficult achieving, but that it is a waste of thought to want something just because somebody else has it. For instance, a lot of my classmates had big celebrations with friends when they graduated from high school. I was happy with a quiet barbeque with my family. I hate nightclubs and large groups of people so why should I worry about wanting to be like everyone else when I don't want to be in that sense.

I think success is reaching one's full potential and finding a life they are happy with, regardless of what's "normal" or expected.